Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #advertisements #children

Recently consequences of

advertisements

targeted at

children

have been a hotly debated topic

due to

their negative influences. It is a common belief that commercial marketing focusing on

children

should be forbidden. From my perspective, I firmly support

this

view because of some disadvantages of advertising for kids.

To begin

with, the ubiquity of unhealthy

advertisements

tends to harm

children’s

lifestyles. The reason is that

this

age group is highly curious and lacks knowledge.

Therefore

children

easily believe in pieces of information from

advertisements

as well as

be exploited to make inaccurate decisions.

For example

, there is more and more obesity in the offspring because one of the most popular current

advertisements

is fast food, soda, and snacks. Another point worth mentioning is that marketing to

children

can lead to them pleading with their caretakers who are capable of earning income and spending. Unfortunately, not buying

children’s

toys may be able to cause resentment in the relationship due the disapproval from caretakers.

According to

psychological studies, if

this

situation is repeated enough, it will

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

children

a sense of neglect

as well as

that

Change the determiner

that child

those children

show examples

children

who have been ignored perform worse in cognitive tasks than those who not have. In conclusion, commercial marketing focusing on

children

not only causes a negative impact on

children’s

lifestyles but

also

damages

children’s

relationships with their parents.

Consequently

, I totally agree with the prohibition of

advertisements

that target

children

Submitted by [email protected] on Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

Your main arguments are clear and well-explained. However, further elaboration and more specific examples would strengthen your points. For instance, you can discuss specific studies or statistics related to the impact of advertisements on children's health and behavior.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. Linking sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help in creating a more cohesive structure.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, giving a strong frame to your essay.

logical structure

The essay is logically structured with each paragraph discussing a distinct point related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pester power
Impressionable
Materialism
Consumerism
Exploitative
Obesity
Censorship
Regulation
Junk food
Economic implications
Parental responsibility
Critical thinking
Freedom of expression
Ethical advertising
Social messages

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Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Men should go to work and women place is in the home. To what extend do you agree or disagree

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Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?