Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In the present day, modern technology has become an important part of life.
For example
, people could go online shopping easier than many years ago. I totally agree with this
topic because of the technology development. This
essay will describe why this
advancement has become a significant role in our lives at the moment with some personal examples.
Firstly
, one of the main reasons I agree with this
is that the improvement of technology could considerably facilitate how simply they go shopping compared to the method in the recent decade. For instance
, individuals have no need to go out to purchase items because the public can buy them from online platforms in just a few seconds in a transaction process, there are many popular and reliable platforms at present such
as Amazon and eBay for global communities or local platform like Lazada and shoppee in Thailand. Secondly
, another supportive reason is that saving people's time to do something else instead
of going out shopping. To exemplify this
statement, parents who have insufficient free time for their kids might spend this
opportunity to do some creative activities with their children. For example
, they may visit a zoo nearby at weekends.
On the other hand
, the advancement might have a weakness with regard to online shopping. It is obvious that a drawback of online purchasing transactions is somewhat insecure with debit or credit card payments. For example
, all information that the platform requires for completing payments is confidential and easily hacked by unreliable platforms, which the individual information such
as a card number, CVV number and expiration date and month for Visa and Master card payments.
To conclude
, I personally think that the developed technologies at present have remarkably become an outstanding part of society's lives in terms of trading and purchasing. However
, this
still has a weakness of an unsecurity issue which all users need to be careful of.Submitted by phanphetpor on
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task achievement
While the essay effectively discusses both views and presents a clear opinion, it is essential to provide more balanced arguments for the opposing view. Additionally, ensure that supporting examples are relevant and fully developed.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay logically with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs for better flow. Transitional phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit lengthy and can be broken down for clarity. Shorter sentences can improve readability and make your arguments more impactful.
introduction conclusion
The introduction sets the stage well and clearly presents your opinion. This makes your essay easy to follow from the outset.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making your arguments more concrete and convincing.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay while restating your opinion, providing a satisfying end to your discussion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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