IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

•Parents will provide food and housing to their children throughout their lives. However, when parents become old, many children do not want to take care of them, and will instead send them to a nursing home or leave them alone. Do children have a duty to take care of their elderly parents? Or should someone else be responsible?

#•parents #food #children #lives #parents #care #home #duty #someone
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Parents
Use synonyms
 will provide food and housing to their
children
Use synonyms
 throughout their lives.
However
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, when
parents
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 become old, many
children
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 do not want to take
care
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 of them, and will
instead
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 send them to a nursing home or leave them alone. Do
children
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 have a duty to take
care
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 of their elderly
parents
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? Or should someone else be responsible? WORK Youngsters these days emerge with the rejection of nursing their
parents
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 despite the unending sacrifice.
This
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 writer assumes that raising
parents
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 is essentially required among
children
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 in order to repay their
parents
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’ perseverance
coupled with
Linking Words
 the reduction of financial hardship on the authority. It must be acknowledged that
children
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 taking
care
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 of their
parents
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 are oriented to pay back gratitude. To explain
further
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,
parents
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 have adapted so far to their
children
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's personal demands, offer standard educational attendance
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 demonstrate unconditional love during the
children
Use synonyms
's grown-up journey.
As a result
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, taking
care
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 of the elderly
parents
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 not only to comprehend their attempts but
also
Linking Words
 to show appreciation for the
children
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.
Therefore
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children
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 should assume the responsibility of maintaining sustainable lives for their
parents
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 regardless
any
Change preposition
of any
show examples
 circumstances. Another point worth considering is that nursing the elderly
parents
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 obviously
mitigate
Correct subject-verb agreement
mitigates
show examples
 the
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden put on the government. To gain
further
Linking Words
 insights, the refusion of caring for the elderly among the youth urges the local authorities to construct more social houses,
supply
Correct word choice
and supply
show examples
 adequate food and social welfare services.
As a result
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, the administration may suffer from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 financial shortage
that is
Linking Words
 in need of investing in other developing aspects.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
children
Use synonyms
 must take charge of
nuturing
Correct your spelling
nurturing
 their
parents
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as for easing
Change preposition
to ease
show examples
 the government’s financial burden.
To sum up
Linking Words
, briefly, caring for
parents
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 when they become older is compulsory among
children
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 so as to appreciate the
parents
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' contribution and give assistance to minimize the financial shortage.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is the top list duty of the
children
Use synonyms
 to nurse their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Ensure that arguments are clearly developed with supporting examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing for smoother readability.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent tone and avoid repetitions in phrasing to enhance overall clarity and flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which contributes to a cohesive structure.
task achievement
Well-articulated main points that adhere to the topic and present a well-rounded response to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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