The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
The diagram below illustrates the steps of
process
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the process
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how making
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, it can be seen in those seven stages. Starting from Growing
sugar
cane
that is
about 12 to 18 being mature and the
last
process
is Drying and cooling. Look at details,
The first step is
Growing which is
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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developing about 12 to 18 months before it will be mature, The
next,
Harvesting which is two methods which are Manual and mechanical. The manual is a farmer chopping
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
and leaves. Meanwhile, the mechanic is using
machine
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a machine
the machine
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to chop
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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. Following the
process
. The machine can be
Crush
Correct your spelling
crushed sugar
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Sugar
canes
which extract the Juice, which is later purified juice using a limestone filter. In the next step, The Juice is heated using an Evaporator and it becomes syrup.
Then
process
Centrifuge which separates
sugar
crystal from syrup. The
last
step is drying and cooling which is making
sugar
that of ready to consume.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultivating
  • harvesting
  • ripened
  • mechanical harvesters
  • processing facility
  • crushed
  • extracted
  • purified
  • filtration
  • clarification
  • evaporators
  • concentrated syrup
  • crystallizing
  • seeded
  • centrifuged
  • molasses
  • dried
  • moisture content
  • packaged
  • distribution
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