In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
There are many countries that claim children can make achievements as long as they put enough effort into those tasks. In my opinion,
this
statement brings both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, encouraging children to gain things by their own hands can cultivate their positive attitude. That is
to say, youth may not give up easily when they are facing difficulties. Meanwhile, this
belief will enhance their capability to withstand stress so that they can better adapt to the future working environment. For instance
, when a person has a positive mindset from an early age, he/she will be able to overcome challenges with an optimistic view when facing troubles at work
or in life. In addition
, youngsters who believe that hard work
will lead to results are more likely to show perseverance in the pursuit of their goals.
On the other hand
, juveniles who frequently hear this
kind of encouragement may be at risk for mental illness and low self-esteem. To make it clear, if adolescents do not achieve the expected results despite their best efforts, they may feel extremely frustrated and lost. As a result
, they may develop self-doubt and lose confidence in themselves. For example
, suppose a child has been working hard to prepare for a math competition and despite all his efforts, he couldn't get a good grade, this
may lead him to doubt his abilities and worth. Besides
, success is influenced by many factors, including not only hard work
but also
talent and external conditions. Kids who are always encouraged to work
very hard to get results will be under tremendous pressure.
To sum up
, I believe that although
educating students to put many endeavours into getting things they want may enhance their positive viewpoints and will, it could also
bring many drawbacks such
as harming their mental status and causing stress.Submitted by bubblehead1213 on
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lexical resource
Try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to show a higher command of the language. For example, instead of repeatedly saying 'effort,' you could substitute with 'endeavors,' 'attempts,' or 'striving.'
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is well-organized, try to improve paragraph transitions for smoother reading. Use transition phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In contrast.'
task response
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and the stance you will take, providing a strong start to your essay.
task response
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows logically, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea that is well-supported.