IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #price #fuels
In these days and ages, many
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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belief
Replace the word
believe
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 that the effective method to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global's
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global
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 pollution,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to seriously tax
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fuels'
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel'
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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. The writer of
this
 essay asserts that immediately increasing the
price
 of
fuels
 can directly affect
to
Change preposition
apply
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the nation's economic foundation and the behaviours of citizens or workers. It is vital to understand that the fuel
price
 is strongly linked to the economy of the country. Nowadays, many vehicles are using petrol for working and running. When the petrol
price
 comes up, it will lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
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 economic crisis. To be more specific, there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
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fuels
 to supply for the vehicles.
This
 will make transportation stagnate and
people
can
Verb problem
will
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 not be provided adequate products.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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businesses are going to raise
up
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 in order to make profits.
For instance
, in 2019 when the fuel's
price
 came up 10%. Many deliveries had been cancelled to balance the income and outcome of the business. Another factor that the writer wants to consider is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 changes. To explain more,
people
 need to adapt to the new environment by using more public transport or switching to fuel-efficient vehicles.
Moreover
, the living standards will get higher and
this
make
Change the verb form
makes
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people
 undergo difficulties because of the bus's
price
. And in the long term, change requires comprehensive policies beyond pricing alone. In conclusion, immediately increasing the
price
 of
fuels
 can directly affect the nation's economic foundation and the behaviours of citizens or workers.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer organization. Ensure each paragraph has a distinct point and flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Try to develop each argument more fully. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your main points.
general
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in your essay. Consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for overall coherence.
task achievement
You address the main topic and provide relevant arguments about the economic impact and behavior changes caused by increasing fuel prices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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