IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that old buildings should be preserved. Others believe they should be demolished. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #buildings
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While
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 it is thought by some that historic structures must be maintained, there are others who argue that they should be torn down. In my opinion, I consider that historic structures ought to be safeguarded if they can bring advantages, but if they cause issues, they should be razed. 49 On the one hand,
according to
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 some, traditional edifices must be conserved because they will keep
history
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 alive.
In other words
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, when people visit old
buildings
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, they can learn about the cultures and
history
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 of the place.
For instance
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, in Saudi Arabia, there are many old
buildings
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 which have Islamic values and
history
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, so if tourists from other countries visit these
buildings
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, they can learn more about Islamic
history
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.
Moreover
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, they produce less waste.
This
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 is because saving old
buildings
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 means less trash from demolition, which is good for the planet.
For
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this
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reason
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, I agree that old
buildings
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 must be protected. 102
On the other hand
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, some may claim that they should be removed. One
reason
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 is that they pose safety concerns.
That is
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 to say, some old
buildings
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 are not safe because they are weak or damaged, which could cause accidents,
as well as
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 they are hard to fix. If they need to be fixed, they will require a lot of money and might not always make them safe.
For instance
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, some old
buildings
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 don’t have safety procedures. Another
reason
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 is that cities need space to build new
buildings
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,
such
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 as schools, hospitals, or offices that can better serve modern needs. Owing to
this
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reason
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, I
also
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 agree that old
buildings
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 should be removed.
To sum up
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,
although
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 people may vary in their opinions, I think that old
buildings
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 should be conserved only if they are beneficial;
otherwise
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, they should be removed.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph directly supports your main argument, providing a bit more elaboration in each to strengthen your case.
task achievement
More analysis of the examples you provide could enhance the task response. Try linking them back clearly to the main point of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing relevant examples, like the buildings in Saudi Arabia, to highlight your points.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized ideas help navigate your opinions clearly from the stance of preservation to removal.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Heritage conservation
  • Historical edifice
  • Cultural legacy
  • Architectural marvel
  • Preservationist
  • Urban landscape
  • Economic revitalization
  • Tourist hub
  • Adaptive reuse
  • Cultural fabric
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Civic identity
  • Preservation criteria
  • Structural integrity
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