IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Provided in the pie charts is information that illustrates several parts that people in Japan and Malaysia
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 money
for
Change preposition
on
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 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that housing and other goods and services accounted for
major
Add an article
the major
a major
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 amount in both countries, meanwhile,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
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transport had small figures.
Begining
Correct your spelling
Beginning
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 with Japan, it can be seen that
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
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 spend most of the money they
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
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 on household stuff, which was 29%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, health care and other goods and services witnessed nearly the same data of about 20%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the ratio of transport and food
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 6% and 14% in order. Moving onto Malaysia, the proportion of other goods and services was biggest, 34% precisely.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Malaysian
Replace the word
Malaysians
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 spent about 26%
their
Change preposition
of their
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 wages on housing and food.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they paid less attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 transport and health care,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 were 3% and 10% respectively.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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