IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #information #features #comparisons
Provided in the pie charts is information that illustrates several parts that people in Japan and Malaysia
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 in 2010.
Overall
, it is evident that housing and other goods and services accounted for
major
Add an article
the major
a major
show examples
 amount in both countries, meanwhile,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transport had small figures.
Begining
Correct your spelling
Beginning
show examples
 with Japan, it can be seen that
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 spend most of the money they
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
 on household stuff, which was 29%.
Moreover
, health care and other goods and services witnessed nearly the same data of about 20%.
By contrast
, the ratio of transport and food
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 6% and 14% in order. Moving onto Malaysia, the proportion of other goods and services was biggest, 34% precisely.
Furthermore
,
Malaysian
Replace the word
Malaysians
show examples
 spent about 26%
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 wages on housing and food.
On the other hand
, they paid less attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 transport and health care,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 were 3% and 10% respectively.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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