Some people think should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artist should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #support #artists #painters #musicians #artist #alternative #sources

Some individuals believe that creative

troupe

Fix the agreement mistake

troupes

show examples

should be funded by authority

whereas

others think that creative

troupe

Change the noun form

troupes

show examples

such

as painters and musicians should be funded by themselves or alternative financial support. Personally, I go with the first view, and in

this

essay, I will discuss both views

as well as

my opinion. First of all,

supporting

Correct article usage

a supporting

show examples

list with

necessary

Add an article

a necessary

the necessary

show examples

budget can improve the quality of products.

This

is because

troupe

Correct article usage

the troupe

show examples

can concentrate on their own

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

without any distractions

such

as earning for living.

Moreover

, creative arts significantly contribute to cultural heritage and national identity, justifying public investment.

For example

, in the past, people have created many pieces of art that symbolize their country

such

as Da Vinci which reminds individuals of their history and their nationality.

However

, some say that creative artist should be funded by alternative sources or they should have their own business to earn money

instead

of depending on the government.

Firstly

, private funding can give artists artistic freedom, as they are not restricted by government policies or expectations.

For instance

list

Correct article usage

a list

show examples

who are not restricted by anything can create more creative ideas because they are free of thought.

Consequently

, their arts tend to be more impressive and attractive to people. In conclusion, I believe other sources of sponsorship may help artists grow but being given financial support by authority brings back more benefits.

Submitted by vananhdo168 on Sat Jun 08 2024

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task achievement

Aim to include more specific examples to support your points. This can help to both clarify your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. This will provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.

coherence cohesion

Try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents both views clearly and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the prompt.

coherence cohesion

You successfully included an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a complete structure.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and understandable, showing a good grasp of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

financial support
creative artists
alternative sources
government funding
public investment
cultural heritage
national identity
equitable distribution
private donations
sponsorships
market-driven approach
artistic freedom
governmental policies
crowdfunding platforms
democratize support
directly contribute

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