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Band 6

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #first #child #outweigh
Due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hectic lifestyles,it has been observed that in several nations,individuals plan to have babies not immediately after
the
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show examples
marriage but
instead
 prefer it after a gap of certain years.
This
 trend has been followed because of the enormous reasons that I would like to explicate in the first paragraphs.
However
,I profoundly assert that its pros are more in comparison with its pons and I would like to cast light on my views in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,the first and foremost reason behind
this
 trend is parents want to have
kids
 when they have financial security in their lives.Not only, do they want to provide the best education to their children
moreover
, but they
also
 want to secure their future by ensuring that they have enough resources and all the luxuries of life.
For example
,a recent survey done by the 'Family Planning Organisation depicts that in the United States,Guardians plan to have children when they are older than 32 years and the reason is couples have high dreams for their
kids
.
For
this
 reason,it is commonly observed that youngsters after marriage decide to have
kids
 after a particular age.
Furthermore
,there are abundant advantages to planning to have
kids
 at a later age.
Firstly
, the couple gets a chance to have security in their job.In spite of the work pressure they face at the workplace, there are several more complications in their daily chores.
For instance
,multifarious reports show that the best age for couples to save their day-to-day expenses is when they are between 20-
30
Correct word choice
and 30
show examples
 as they are not only energetic during
this
 period
likewise
 they swiftly change themselves
according to
 the numerous conditions.In the end,partners tend to have children when they ensure a safe and secure life
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from a more defined introduction where the topic is clearly introduced, and a clearer conclusion that summarizes your main points.
supported main points
While your main points are generally clear, you should ensure that they are consistently supported with specific examples and explanations throughout your essay.
logical structure
Try to refine the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
complete response
Your essay addresses the prompt well and discusses relevant points for why people are choosing to have children later.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provided specific reasons (financial security, career stability) why people decide to have children later in life, which adds depth to your argument.
relevant specific examples
The inclusion of surveys and reports indicates that you are supporting your points with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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