IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the use of mobiles (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as in libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? #people #mobiles

#people #mobiles #cell #phones #places #libraries #shops #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
‏
Cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 has become a part of our lives. It is a highly debatable issue whether
people
Use synonyms
 allowing to
use
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 in public places, or whether it should be banned.From my prespective,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon leads to adverse impacts and affects the individual's social life. I don't agree that
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 is not necessary in public place.
This
Linking Words
, which we discuss in
this
Linking Words
 essay. ‏Mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 can be a significant source of distraction in public places like libraries and shops.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a lack of concentration for those around.
For example
Linking Words
, the result of conducted research illustrates that 70% of the individual can't concentrate
due to
Linking Words
 the annoying of cellphone. Furthermere, There are valid reasons for permitting to
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 in public areas. There are many situations that
people
Use synonyms
 can't do without it.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 face
such
Linking Words
 situation
such
Linking Words
 as emergencies, they need mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 to solve the problem.
This
Linking Words
, they should have the freedom to
use
Use synonyms
 the
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 ‏Aforiding
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 can touches on Some social issues.
People
Use synonyms
 may do against the law, which can lead to many dangerous problem. To illustrate, using mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 in shop without knowing the owner mes could lead to misunderstad.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can cause crime and lack in the confidence.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not allowing mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 in shops potentially would make between
people
Use synonyms
 less thart when they the connection share eney thing. eney thing. So, the collaboration and connection among
people
Use synonyms
 come and shops will dorease and
people
Use synonyms
 become unknown of alot of products. ‏In conclusion,
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 is very important in
people
Use synonyms
's live. It has various benefits for the individual in each area.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government Should support
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 public place. their
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 in
Submitted by 13570581 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, make sure each paragraph tackles a single main idea and develop it fully with supporting evidence and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and ideas, and maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to identify and correct minor errors that can distract the reader and clarify sentences for better understanding.
task achievement
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a summarization of the writer's stance clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distraction
  • concentration
  • noise pollution
  • emergencies
  • individual freedoms
  • infringe
  • courteous behavior
  • regulation
  • permissible
  • enforce
  • disruption
  • public transport
  • public spaces
  • notifications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: