Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The preservation of cultural
traditions
is a matter of great importance and has sparked a debate regarding whether the monetisation of them leads to their destruction or serves as the only way to safeguard these valuable aspects of heritage. This
essay will examine both perspectives and argue in favour of the opinion that cultural traditions
may be jeopardised when they are exploited for commercial gain.
On the one hand, proponents of using cultural traditions
as money-making attractions argue that this
approach provides a viable means to preserve and safeguard these customs in an increasingly globalised and commercialised world. Economic benefits generated from cultural tourism can contribute to the conservation and restoration of cultural sites and artefacts, ensuring their longevity for future generations. For example
, entrance fees to historical monuments can fund restoration projects and maintenance, preventing the decay and degradation of these cultural treasures.
On the other hand
, many individuals strongly believe that commercially utilising cultural traditions
put
these cherished practices and customs at risk of losing their authenticity and significance. When cultural elements are commodified for the sake of tourism or entertainment, there is a tendency to modify or Wrong verb form
puts
sensionalise
them to appeal Correct your spelling
sensationalised
sensationalise
for
a broader audience. Change preposition
to
As a result
, the essence and deeper meanings of these traditions
may become diluted or distorted, eroding their authenticiy
and cultural value. Correct your spelling
authenticity
For instance
, traditional rituals and ceremonies performed as mere spectacles for tourists may lose their spiritual significance, leading to a loss of respect for these once-sacred practices.
In conclusion, the debate over using cultural traditions
as money-making attractions raises valid concerns about the potential erosion of their authenticity. I believe that authorities should make sure that the traditions
and cultures of a nation do not diminish for the sake of foreign remittance.Submitted by sejal.h on
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coherence cohesion
While your argument is well-structured, consider further elaboration to enhance the balance between both perspectives. Providing more depth to both views will strengthen your response and showcase a thorough understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Ensure precision and accuracy in language use by carefully proofreading your essay for minor errors, such as 'sensionalise' which should be 'sensationalise' and 'authenticiy' which should be 'authenticity.' This will help maintain the essay's professional tone and clarity.
task achievement
Though your conclusion is strong, try to also suggest pragmatic steps that could be taken to balance the preservation and commercialisation of cultural traditions. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic clearly and presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives meticulously. This exhibits a good grasp of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs elaborating on each viewpoint, and a succinct conclusion. This aids in readability and cohesiveness.
task achievement
You incorporated relevant and specific examples, such as the funding of restoration projects through entrance fees, to support your points. This enhances the credibility and relevance of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?