An increasing population is using computers and electronic devices to do screen reading instead of reading books, magazines and newspapers, so there is no need for printed publications to exist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, more and more publications are using computers to show their content
instead
of printed paper
. In my opinion, this
is a good decision and I will explain why I am supporting it wholeheartedly in the following paragraphs.
To start with, using electronic devices can save money for buying paper
. As a result
, we can use our money on other things. That is
a very wonderful idea! In the past, companies used a lot of money to buy books, newspapers, magazines, and so on. In the end, we have to throw them away, because they are outdated. Those books need a big room for storage, and not every department has that kind of space. It can cut the budget for purchasing and storing.
Another point I would like to talk about is the environment part. Because of the advanced technologies, we can use paper
less. Therefore
, it is good for protecting our earth. We do not need to cut more trees for making
Change preposition
to make
paper
. Thus
, more trees can reduce CO2 emissions, and I believe they can purify air effectively. We will have more clean oxygen. The problem of air pollution has been rising in recent years, and it caused a
plenty of lung cancer cases. In order to prevent it from getting bad, we have to opt for Remove the article
apply
this
plan.
In a nutshell, e-books and e-documents have so many good advantages. They can lower the cost and help our world. I can not think of a reason why we do not use it.Submitted by edward300225 on
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task response
Although the essay addresses the task prompt and presents a clear opinion, adding more specific examples will strengthen your argument. More relevant details can demonstrate how the shift to electronic formats is benefiting various industries and individual users.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs can be further developed for better logical flow. For instance, linking the environmental benefits more directly to the savings on storage space and costs would provide better coherence and make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the writer's stance, followed by body paragraphs that provide supporting points. The conclusion succinctly sums up the main points, leaving the reader with a strong understanding of the writer’s perspective.
task response
The writer logically presents the financial and environmental benefits of using electronic devices over printed materials. The essay’s main points are clear, and the reasoning is easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite