The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate several reasons why
people
choose a bicycle or car to get to
work
. In general, each has five different reasons and the proportions are varied. On the one hand, about one-third of the
people
cycling to
work
are caring about health and fitness,
while
another one-third are considerate of making less pollution. Only 15% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bike riders choose to cycle because they have no problems with parking, and 13% like to cycle as they don't have to pay for commuting devices.
Last
, 12% of the
people
who cycle think that cycling is faster than driving a car.
On the other hand
, up to 40% of the
drivers
think it is the most comfortable way to get to
work
. One-fifth of the
drivers
think it is better to drive because the distance to
work
matters.
Otherwise
, 14% of the
drivers
consider the car to be faster than the bicycle,
while
another 14% think that they need cars to bring things to
work
.
Finally
,
people
who think driving is safer than cycling accounted for 11% of the
drivers
.
Submitted by JE on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work, drivers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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