IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g. goods, service, news,…) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
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It is a fact that an increasing number of individuals desire to have everything available for their intentions Contributory factors to
this
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 trend are varied and linked to the impact of the hustle and bustle of the cities .
This
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 essay explores the causes and discoveries whether they involve more positive or negative On the one hand,
it is clear that
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 getting some things immediately would bring about several advantages. One evident strength is that it would be time-saving to help people spend most of their free time with families, especially their children.
In other words
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, they do not have to look forward to waiting for unnecessary things. Another reason is that it would be suitable for the social mainstream at the moment because of developments in technology.
On the other hand
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, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise.
First,
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this
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 problem tends to make individuals become more impatient. It means that they always desire to finish their work or studies hurriedly without thinking about the consequences.
Furthermore
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, it can lead them to get a failure in a lot of situations.
For instance
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, people have a tendency to be disappointed with themselves when if they are not successful in doing anything In conclusion, there are plus points to benefits regarding time–saving and to be reasonable for trends.
However
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, the downside would emerge
consequently
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 in terms of drawbacks
such
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 as people becoming more and more impatient and usually get a failure.

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Structure
Try to clearly structure your essay with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your essay has these components, refining the transitions and connections between paragraphs can enhance clarity.
Examples
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Specific examples help illustrate your points more vividly, contributing to a stronger argument.
Task Response
Focus on fully addressing the prompt. While you touch on the reasons and implications of the desire for instant gratification, deeper analysis and wider-ranging impacts would create a more comprehensive response.
Language
Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and dynamic. This not only showcases language proficiency but also keeps the reader's attention.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, giving a sound overview of your main points.
Balance
You've made an effort to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing an ability to examine multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
What to do next:
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