in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

The

population

of elderly

people

in the world is rising as

people

are living longer than before.

This

phenomenon has both positive and negative impacts on society.

However

this

essay will argue that the advantages of having more elderly

people

outweigh the negatives. One significant advantage of an ageing

population

is the promotion of a healthy lifestyle. Many elderly individuals today are aware of the importance of eating well and exercising regularly. They can pass on these habits to their children and grandchildren, fostering a healthier future generation.

For example

, in Japan, many elderly

people

remain active and contribute to society by taking on social service roles even after retirement.

This

not only keeps them engaged but

also

reduces unemployment, as they are financially independent and can support their families.

Additionally

, many elderly

people

take pleasure in looking after their grandchildren, providing essential support to working parents who might

otherwise

struggle with childcare.

On the other hand

, some argue that an ageing

population

presents challenges,

such

as increased government expenses on pensions and healthcare. It is true that the cost of supporting retired individuals is rising.

Moreover

, there is the issue of elderly

people

being abandoned in public social homes, which places a strain on social services.

However

, these problems can be mitigated by implementing stronger laws and policies to protect the elderly and ensure their well-being.

While

it is clear that

an ageing

population

poses certain challenges to the government, the positive impacts of having more elderly

people

in society are more significant. The wisdom and experience they bring,

along with

their role in promoting healthy lifestyles and supporting family structures, outweigh the financial and social challenges.

Submitted by wiworose on Sat Jun 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow. Each paragraph presents a clear point which is both introduced and supported.

coherence cohesion

You effectively introduced the topic and concluded with a strong statement summarizing your stance, which provides a good balance to your essay.

task achievement

You've included relevant examples that help to illustrate your points, such as the reference to Japan’s elderly population. These examples add depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?
In recent years, the utilization of land has been drastically changing due to varied needs of human population. Although some people believe that land can be cleared to fufill the growing needs of human beings, others are of the opinion that it should be protected to save wildlife especially extincting species. In my opinion, it is highly crucial to protect endangered animals so as to maintain ecological balance.
7
band
In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governments should levy a tariff on junk food because the number of health risks associated with consuming this kind of food is on the rise. This essay agrees that a higher rate of tax should be paid by fast-food companies. Firstly, alcohol and tobacco companies already pay higher taxes and secondly, higher taxes could raise prices and lower consumption.
5
band
In some nations, there has been an agreement the importance of instead renting a house or apartment, people need to have a mindset of being a homeownes. In my opinion this can be a motivation for each individual to try to achieve but mindset is very easy but achieving it can be very challenging.
In some nations, there has been an agreement the importance of instead renting a house or apartment, people need to have a mindset of being a homeownes. In my opinion this can be a motivation for each individual to try to achieve but mindset is very easy but achieving it can be very challenging.
6.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use teach good behaviur to children?
In recent times, there has been a trend that positive reinforcements are preferable rather than providing punishment to children. However, I strongly argue that educators and parents should be allowed to use punishment to teach children what is the right thing to do in some situations.
7.5
band
Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today’s fast-paced society, people are in the face of pressure in various aspects of life, so they opt for multitasking as a solution.While this approach is favoured by many, others have an adverse opinion due to its drawbacks. From my perspective, this working habit has both advantages and disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

In some nations, there has been an agreement the importance of instead renting a house or apartment, people need to have a mindset of being a homeownes. In my opinion this can be a motivation for each individual to try to achieve but mindset is very easy but achieving it can be very challenging.

Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.