Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

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Adventurous

activities

Use synonyms

become more popular among many people recently, particularly after safety technology has been developed. The number of people participating in these

activities

Use synonyms

increases significantly in various countries.

However

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, none of these is my favourite since I still consider them as a risk to my life.

Although

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participating in an adventurous activity can make you feel both excited and happy at the same time

due to

Linking Words

the release of adrenaline and endorphins, it is still considered a risky activity since a mistake occurring

while

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playing those

activities

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can lead to death.

For example

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, a motorcycle rider who jumped up in the air and unexpectedly fell off broke his bones for several months and was never able to rejoin motorcycling again. The video clip was posted on YouTube.

Although

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his brain was protected by the high-quality helmet, his body was still made of gentle tissues which are never strong enough to overcome the strength of metals, rocks or soils once he fell off and hit those.

Besides

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risks to life, most adventurous

activities

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consume a lot of gasoline, leading to huge amounts of carbon emissions.

This

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is quite not friendly to the environment.

For instance

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, a sky diving activity possibly requires several tonnes of petrol as it needs a plane to fly up high in the sky. Compared to general

activities

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such

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as jogging in a park, dangerous

activities

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drastically consume higher amounts of fossil fuel. In conclusion, none of the dangerous

activities

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is my favourite

due to

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their risk and energy consumption.

However

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, participating in these

activities

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is a free right to anybody.

phakawat.chuMon Jun 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, organize the paragraphs more logically. For example, discuss the environmental impact before the personal risk to create a smoother flow.

task achievement

Enhance the clarity of ideas by ensuring each paragraph sticks to one main point. The paragraph discussing both risks and examples could be split into two for better clarity.

task achievement

Focus on eliminating minor grammatical and lexical errors. For example, 'motorcycle' should be 'motorcyclist', and 'gentle tissues' should be 'fragile tissues'.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument well. The concluding statement acknowledges the freedom of choice, broadening the perspective.

task achievement

Well-chosen examples effectively support and illustrate the main points. The YouTube example is relevant and specific, enhancing the argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Adrenaline rush
Thrill-seeker
Personal growth
Self-confidence
Social interaction
Like-minded individuals
Skill development
Concentration
Coordination
Discipline
Risk management
Safety awareness
Mental barriers
Challenge
Stress-relieving

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Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favor of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

In some countries, facial recognition and vein pattern recognition are gaining in popularity in biometric security. Is this positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

Is learning online better than traditional classroom learning?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.