Whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, whether luck is the most crucial element contributing to a person's success or not has sparked a degree of controversy among scholars and individuals.
Although
I accept that fortune does have an important role in helping people reach their objectives, I would argue that hard work and determination are much more critical factors leading to the achievement of an individual. On the one hand, I agree that fortuity can be an important factor.
To begin
with, some citizens are fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family, which allows them to have a better education or to easily start their own business without having to borrow money from someone else.
As a result
, these folks tend to have better opportunities to succeed than those coming from poor families.
Furthermore
, some individuals are lucky to be given great talents which others do not have.
For example
, Mozart was able to play music when he was very young, and Lionel Messi already had great football skills when he was born.
Nevertheless
, I would argue that
although
luck can be necessary, it is not the most crucial factor leading to success.
Firstly
, inhabitants need to work really hard and put much effort into their jobs if they want to be successful.
For instance
, before becoming one of the best football players in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo had to go through intense training hours every day for many years.
Secondly
, a person is less likely to reach his targets if he does not have determination. Along the path to success, there are likely to be many obstacles, and people need to keep moving forward to overcome those challenges. In conclusion,
while
I acknowledge the importance of luck to some extent in helping people become successful, I believe that hard work and determination are the most important elements.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay is strong and comprehensive, consider elaborating a bit more on the counterexamples or providing additional supporting points for the arguments you present. This could add more depth to your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure there is seamless transition between some of the sentences within the paragraphs. This will help in maintaining a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete and comprehensive response to the prompt, effectively addressing the given issue and presenting a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with each point following naturally from the previous one. This contributes to the clarity and effectiveness of your overall argument.
task achievement
You have incorporated relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing your arguments effectively and summarizing your points clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: