IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single –sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #parents #children #sex #schools #people #–sex #life
Nowadays, people in several countries think that parents have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 option to send their
children
 to single-sex
schools
 or co-educational
schools
.
However
, some people do not want to register their
children
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 single-sex
schools
 to prevent the drawbacks later in life. Personally, I agree that
children
 should know well the opposite sex. It is because naturally there is a different character between a girl and a boy, and for that, we need to explore each other.
In addition
, it is to prevent sexual harassment. Boys and girls have a different character.
For instance
, the boy usually is more creative than the girl, and the girl is more tidy than the boy. They can learn from each other if they meet and play together.
Therefore
, co-education
schools
 are needed to implement
this
 scheme, and it is important for the improvement of personality which will be a benefit later in life. Biologically, there are different parts of the female and male body of a human. If boys only get
along with
 boys, they will develop a curiosity about different sex when they grow up as teenagers.
As a result
, it can trigger sexual abuse.
On the other hand
, girls will easily fall in love, and sometimes it can cause several disadvantages if they meet the wrong person who only using them. In conclusion, I believe that it is important not to send
children
 to single-sex
schools
 to prevent sexual harassment later in life, and to know well each other so that we can build a better personality.
Submitted by anonymous on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay tackles the prompt effectively, try to elaborate more on each point to give a comprehensive response. Provide a variety of examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will improve the overall logical flow and make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Focus on eliminating minor grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. This will enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which support the arguments well.
task achievement
You address both parts of the task and provide a clear opinion, which fits the prompt well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: