too much emphasis is given for education of the young. more government money should be spent to time activity of young people. to what extent do you agree or disagree
Education
is becoming all-pervasive
in Replace the word
more pervasive
this
modern world than ever before. However
, thre
remains Correct your spelling
there
certain
discrepancy as to whether the total impacts of learning have been advantageous or disadvantageous to the sustainable growth of civilized society. Correct article usage
a certain
Whereas
many put forward opposite
proposition, I hold to the belief that the imperfectness of studying is far outweighed by its practical benefits.
First and foremost, the detrimental impacts that young Correct article usage
the opposite
people
is
Change the verb form
are
spent to
time activity by Wrong verb form
spending
government
money, are the thing
that should be considered serious. Obviously, Fix the agreement mistake
things
government
can result in unknowledge Add an article
the government
as well as
do
not innovate in Unnecessary verb
apply
study
. It should Add an article
the study
be point
out that if Change the verb form
be pointed
government
focus on Correct article usage
the government
make
more Change the verb form
making
activity
for children, some will be Fix the agreement mistake
activities
lack of
knowledgeReplace the word
seriously lacking
seriously
. Rephrase
apply
Futhermore
, one of Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Add an article
the critcal
critcal
problems associated with Correct your spelling
critical
Add an article
the action
action
of Fix the agreement mistake
actions
government
lead to Correct article usage
the government
stupid-
Correct your spelling
stupid people
people
.
Nevertheless
, there is incontrovertible evidence that there are
a wide range of practical benefits that supply Change the verb form
is
education
for the young provide people
need study
in general and learners in particular
. The remarkable feature of this
form of education
is to offer a better understanding of study
. By way of learn
, Change the verb form
learning
peopke
may have an opportunity to be aware of a wide range of theory Correct your spelling
people
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
as well as
know a thing people
do not. It is true that this
popular tren
Correct your spelling
trend
also
generates entertainment values to
Change preposition
in
people
's lives. Additionally
, these forms of education
will develop brain
and have an opportunity to find a good job.
To recapitulate, Correct article usage
the brain
education
with the excellent knowledge that it offers human being
has been a position of strength for the evolutionary development of the state-of-the-art world. Provided that the Fix the agreement mistake
beings
government
has effective methods for management
young Replace the word
managing
people
as well as
have
to ensure Unnecessary verb
apply
people
is
suppliedChange the verb form
are
a
large knowledge, Change preposition
with a
the
modern society will significantly Correct article usage
apply
benefits
from Change the verb form
benefit
this
great and useful form of learningSubmitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Try to present clear and comprehensive ideas. Your main points are sometimes difficult to understand due to unclear phrasing and lack of specificity.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops a single central idea to improve coherence and cohesion. This will help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing the importance of education and the role of government funding in children's activities.
task achievement
You have provided both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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