IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Watching TV shows and movies about crime is becoming more and more popular. Why is this? What effects does that have on society?

#tv #movies #crime #effects #society
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The conspicuous rise of
crime
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 documents and their propagation has become more prevailing nowadays.
This
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 happened
due to
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 the augmentation of
crime
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 percentages.
Consequently
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, those TV shows have affected the reputation and reliability of one’s areas but have considerably one’s awareness of
such
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 incidents. I will depict why
such
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 shows become so popular and its effects.
Although
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 many factors account for
such
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 a phenomenon, one of the principal encompassing elements is economics. Inflation and economic allocation failure have caused many difficulties for households, dwindling their welfare and potentially driving them toward the criminal route. Since
this
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 vogue is increasingly prevailing,
crime
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 rates have
also
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 risen and parallel to the demands of promoting awareness from households or suburbs that are susceptible to frequent transgression.
For instance
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, various underdeveloped or developing countries
such
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 as Cuba, India, and the African continent are rumoured to
scams
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have scams
show examples
such
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 as fraudulent pricing, especially toward tourists, and deceptive law violations, from the pettiest crimes
such
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 as stealing to more major misdeeds
such
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 as illicit gun use. Inevitably, the constant reminder of the prevailing dangers of crimes by the media could plummet the credibility of the neighbourhoods and affect the bonds toward their acquaintance and people around, albeit the beneficiary could thwart those dangers.
Moreover
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, those documents, when conveyed excessively frequently to minors, could implant numerous misunderstandings about the world and even some could later involved in
such
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 detrimental activities. In conclusion, with the recent soar in
crime
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 rates, TV shows and movies concerning crimes have been a trend,
thus
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, deleteriously affecting society in various ways, from the distrustworthiness to the misinterpretation of minors in the world.
Submitted by bendy.anhle on

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task response
Work on creating a clearer and more direct introduction. Clearly state the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that supporting details are directly related to that idea.
task response
Try to use more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points. Avoid generalizations where specific evidence would be better.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task response
The essay covers both parts of the task by discussing the reasons for the popularity of crime shows and their effects on society.
task response
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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