Public celebrations such as national days etc are held in most countries which is expensive so govt. should not spend money on it and on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
spend a lot on national
days
cermonies
Correct your spelling
ceremonies
. I agree with
this
statement
due to
the fact that celebrations
requiers
Correct your spelling
requires
require
a high cost of money and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should
saves
Change the verb form
save
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
amount on other important public enhancements.
While
, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries celebrating national day took 2 weeks or maybe one
months
Change to a singular noun
month
show examples
, two
days
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
would be more than enough for public
cermonies
Correct your spelling
ceremonies
.
This
is to say, that a huge
budage
Correct your spelling
budget
is
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on the celebrations. People can show
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great appreciation and love
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
country
without spending a lot.
In addition
to that, 
this
issue can be
easliy
Correct your spelling
easily
avoided by
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
which is by increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
society members.
For example
, publishing a public
anouncement
Correct your spelling
announcement
on the official celebration
days
that it must
be include
Change the verb form
be included
show examples
2
days
only, and set a
punshiment
Correct your spelling
punishment
for people who celebrate more than that.
Furthermore
, saving the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
budage
Correct your spelling
budget
on more significant staff will help
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
quailtey
Correct your spelling
quality
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society members.
This
means there
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must be a huge focus and attention by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
on the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
problems.
Such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
solving the traffic issues.
In other words
, building
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enhanced public transportation, by setting a more
sophisitcated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
and developed
one's
Change noun form
one
show examples
.
For example
,
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
metro, trains and buses.
This
development will provide a lot of
beneificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
impacts by
shifiting
Correct your spelling
shifting
the public
lives member
Fix the agreement mistake
life members
show examples
as well as
the
country
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
level.
To sum up
, I agree that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
budage is
Replace the word
budget
show examples
should be spent on enhancing
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
living in the
country
, Rather than national
days
cermonies
Correct your spelling
ceremonies
.
Submitted by noufxmut on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents a clear position. However, it's important to support your arguments with more specific examples and detailed reasoning to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is organized logically with relevant supporting details. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
language accuracy
There are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors in your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct word forms, and spelling. Proofreading your work can help catch these mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using phrases like 'I agree with this statement' directly early on, and instead, integrate your opinion more naturally into the introduction. This can improve the sophistication of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of your stance. However, the conclusion could be slightly more developed to reiterate your main points and findings clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction that sets up the topic and your stance effectively.
task achievement
You attempt to provide reasoning and examples to support your position, which is essential for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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