In some parts of the world people try to find out one's own family history. Why do people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative?
Recently, reconstructing the family's trees has become increasingly common in some countries.
This
is because people want to know more about their roots and cultural heritage and it should be viewed positively due to
its effect on personal growth and promoting peace in the world.
History
research of previous generations can support individual growth and life resistance. For instance
, when we find historical information what
our grandparents went through during the Second World War or experienced poverty and forced relocation to another region centuries ago, it can help us to understand our own character better and embrace ourselves in front of our life's challenging circumstances. Change preposition
about what
For example
, many migrant families in New Zealand experiencing difficulties in settling here, find their power resources in their family history
.
On the other hand
, family history
investigations might end up with finding multi-cultural roots and mixing blood in our veins. Owning to nations' relocations, moving to other countries for better opportunities and even arranging engagements, family trees' branches were waving together bonding the relationship with other nationalities and cultures. Doubtless, this
is the positive aspect of this
kind of research as it supports multicultural connections and keeps peace in many parts of the world because brothers do not want to fight against each other.
In conclusion, looking for family roots and history
assists our own personal growth and ability to survive in difficult times of life as well as
has a bigger worldwide effect on keeping peace in particular
regions due to
cross-family connections and relationships. Therefore
this
type of research should be welcomed and encouraged.Submitted by lea12nz on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task and provides a thorough response. However, ensure that you include a bit more on possible negative aspects or counterarguments for a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your ideas is good, but some transitions can be made smoother. For example, the shift between the importance of family history for personal growth to its impact on global peace can be connected more naturally.
overall
A few minor language errors and awkward phrases can be corrected for clarity. For instance, 'History research of previous generations' could be more precise as 'Researching the history of previous generations' and 'multi-cultural roots and mixing blood in our veins' could be revised for a clearer expression.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay quite well. This is a strong point in terms of structure.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant and specific examples, which add weight to your arguments. This strengthens your task achievement score.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are thorough and articulate, showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.