IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals believe that all university
students
Use synonyms
 should
study
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 those
subjects
Use synonyms
 which they prefer whilst other people argue that they should
study
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science
Use synonyms
 and technology-related
subjects
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 because it will be beneficial for their future careers. I personally think that
while
Linking Words
 studying
science
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 and technology-related
subjetcs
Correct your spelling
subjects
 allows
students
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 to secure
jobs
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 in the future,
students
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 should
study
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 those
subjects
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 which they want because they will
shine
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 in those
fields
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. If
students
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study
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science
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 and technology-related
subjects
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, they can secure better
jobs
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 when they will be graduated. There are
a
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apply
show examples
plenty of
jobs
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 available in the job market with handsome salaries, which are related to
science
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 and technology. These
jobs
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 provide their employees with financial
solvancy
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solvency
 and opportunities for professional development.
For example
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, in Bangladesh, university
students
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 mostly prefer to
study
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 computer and telecommunication engineering and biotechnology because
salary
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the salary
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 ranges of these field-related
jobs
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 are
more
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apply
show examples
higher than other
jobs
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.
However
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, I personally believe that
students
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 should
study
Use synonyms
 those
subjects
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 which they like because they can
shine
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 in those
fields
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. If
students
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study
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 whatever they want, it assists them to
shine
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 in those
fields
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. They learn those
subjects
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 with enjoyment and have passion in their hearts for their works and
performance
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performances
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.
Students
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 find
jobs
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 in these
fields
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 with dedication and passion and perform well. These allow
students
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 to become good professionals when they start working.
For example
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, many
students
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 of fine arts become good artists because there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enjoyment in the process of becoming an artist, and
students
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 have passion and love for their professions.
Therefore
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, I personally believe that
students
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 should
study
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 those
subjects
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, which they actually want. In conclusion, I personally think that
although
Linking Words
 studying
science
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 and technology-related
subjects
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 benefits
students
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 to find secured
jobs
Use synonyms
, studying
subjects
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 which they want assists them to
shine
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 as professionals because they have
dedication
Replace the word
dedicated
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.

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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all explanations are clear and directly related to the main points to improve clarity.
logical structure
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to further enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with specific examples, such as the mention of job prospects in Bangladesh.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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