Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?
In today's society, a growing number of overweight offspring has sparked a degree of controversy among people
due to
its significant public health implications across many nations. Although
this
problem can be attributed to a multitude of reasons, some feasible measures can be considered to address it.
There are a number of understandable reasons for the rising levels of childhood obesity
. The first reason is unhealthy eating habits. As contemporary children
tend to consume excessive fast food, including confectionery and sugary beverages, they are more likely to be overweight. In fact, studies have shown that fast food is very high in fat and sugars but low in vitamins and minerals, which would cause kids to gain weight quickly. Another undeniable contributing factor is a sedentary lifestyle. If kids spend too much time watching television, browsing the internet, or playing video games, as opposed to engaging in physical outdoor activities like playing football or going swimming, they do not burn excess calories, thereby becoming increasingly obese.
There are several actions that could be taken to alleviate the aforementioned issues. Firstly
, it is important for parents
to control what their children
eat to make sure they have a healthy diet. This
means that parents
should educate them about the detrimental effects of an imbalanced diet so that they can make healthier food choices, which could prevent childhood obesity
. Secondly
, one of the most effective solutions to tackle this
problem would be for parents
to restrict the time their youngsters spend on sedentary activities and encourage them to take regular exercise. It is evident that children
find it easy to sit for hours on end and be glued to a screen due to
attractive entertainment programs on television. Therefore
, parents
should establish daily screen time limits ranging from 30 to 60 minutes.
In conclusion, childhood obesity
stems from a diverse range of causes, necessitating proactive measures to address this
urgent issue. By implementing comprehensive strategies that emphasize nutritional education, physical activity promotion, and parental engagement, it is possible to reduce the prevalence of obesity
among children
and foster healthier lifestyles.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples or data to strengthen the points made. This would help to illustrate the severity of childhood obesity more vividly and provide a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Also, while your essay is very well-structured, transitioning phrases between some paragraphs could be improved to ensure the flow of ideas is exceptionally smooth.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt effectively, providing a complete response to the causes and solutions for childhood obesity.
task achievement
The ideas are expressed clearly and are comprehensive, with strong explanations and suitable word choices.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical and organized structure, making it easy to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of introduction and conclusion, which successfully frame the discussion and summarise the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with explanations, logically building up the essay's argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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