Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #trend

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The increment of access to technology and the internet has affected the screen

time

children

Instead

of being active and playing outside, some kids prefer to sit and watch movies or play games on their gadgets.

While

this

might bring educational benefits, I believe that too much

time

on the screen will have negative impacts on

children

's development. There are some reasons behind

this

phenomenon.

First,

parents who are both working might find it easier to entertain their

children

by giving them gadgets from an early age.

This

event builds the child's habit and even addiction which might be difficult to break.

Moreover

, a lack of social or outdoor activities can be the cause of

this

event.

For example

children

living in the apartment with no playground or

neighbour

Fix the agreement mistake

neighbours

show examples

have no other form of entertainment than their devices.

This

event raises concerns

Change preposition

about

show examples

the

children

's physical and psychological development.

Children

who spend more

time

on their screens might endure sight problems

due to

the high duration of light exposure.

Also

, the sedentary lifestyle caused by low physical

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

might result in obesity.

In addition

children

's social interactions are mostly done online, reducing their social skills in real life.

This

might affect their performance in school since they will have a hard

time

adapting to their environment

moreover

focusing on the subject taught. In conclusion, exposing technology at

such

an early age needs to be taken into account carefully. I argue that too much screen

time

can impact negatively

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

's physical and psychological development.

Thus

parent

Add an article

the parent

a parent

show examples

has to be more considerate of the gadget usage of their

children

Submitted by larasati.sylvia41 on Sat Dec 14 2024

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relevant specific examples

Include more specific examples or cases to better illustrate your points, particularly in the discussion of children's screen time and its effects.

logical structure

Ensure your points are clearly linked for enhanced coherence. Attempt using linking words for smooth transitions.

introduction conclusion present

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

complete response

The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing reasons and impacts of children's increased screen time with clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
digital devices
smartphone addiction
online interactions
developmental impact
physical health
mental well-being
academic performance
parental supervision
proliferation of apps
engaging content
excessive use
sedentary lifestyle

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A friend has offered you some work in his company. You are currently employed and not able to start for three months. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter

Some people think that environmental problem should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally, Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Globalization promotes cultural exchange and understanding by facilitating interactions between people from different backgrounds. This can foster tolerance, diversity, and cross-cultural collaboration.

Some people think that stars do not deserve high salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protect places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?