The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
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The given map illustrates information about the plan to construct a superstore in the two places of
Garlsdon
city
. In general, what stands out from the figure is that the first upcoming supermarket (S1) will be established in a rural area near the Hindon,
while
the second shop was planned to be built in the centre of the
city
of
Garlsdon
.
Garlsdon
is a town with a 65000 population.
This
city
has three areas, named the Cransdon (29000), Bransdon (15000), and Hindon (10000 citizens) respectively. The first mall will be built in the northwestern side of the town, specifically in the countryside. The location of
this
shopping centre will be useful for the population, as two transport systems will be available for people. From the right, there is the main road,
while
from the left, the railway station is located. Regarding the second location of the store, it was planned to be erected in the centre of
Garlsdon
in the south of the
city
. It will be surrounded by an industrial area and the entrance to
this
supermarket will be accessible just by the railway, not by road.
Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words garlsdon, city with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Foot traffic
  • Green space
  • Job creation
  • Local property values
  • Parking availability
  • Pollution
  • Proximity
  • Public transportation
  • Sustainability
  • Traffic patterns
  • Residential areas
  • Shopping convenience
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