It is important to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is thought by a selection of individuals that

risks

Use synonyms

are paramount and people should take them in their lives, both professional and personal aspects. In

this

Linking Words

essay, my supportive reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion which is demerits of

this

Linking Words

notion totally overwhelm its merits. At the outset, it is undeniable that taking

risks

Use synonyms

in professional lives offers people plenty of drawbacks and

one

Use synonyms

of the most significant is that they will be unemployed. To elaborate

further

Linking Words

, some

risks

Use synonyms

can cause terrible and horrible effects on organisations and

therefore

Linking Words

if individuals do

this

Linking Words

in their companies, they might get fired immediately.

Moreover

Linking Words

, after doing damage to a company by taking

risks

Use synonyms

, it will be on their record which in turn other companies tend not to employ them. An apt illustration of

this

Linking Words

is that my colleague, who works as a structural engineer, decided to reduce the strength of the concrete of beams and columns and

hence

Linking Words

after the building was constructed, it could not bear the distributed load from the roof and broke down, brought the whole building down too.

As a result

Linking Words

, she was fired the day after and it was written in her record which made all the companies that she applied for reject her CV.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it is a fact that it offers individuals a number of downsides and the most crucial

one

Use synonyms

is the stage of well-being. To explain in greater detail, it leads to bad injuries or death if risk-takers are not careful,

affect

Wrong verb form

affecting

show examples

their physical health.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it might contribute to fading in relationships with friends as they are reluctant to take

risks

Use synonyms

, leading to becoming lonely. To specifically demonstrate,

one

Use synonyms

of my middle school friends loved playing with throwing knives and he always invited others to put apples on their heads;

consequently

Linking Words

, he would throw the knives at the apples.

Thus

Linking Words

, there is no

one

Use synonyms

who wants to be friends with him as it is too dangerous and harmful. All in all, taking

risks

Use synonyms

only provides citizens with disadvantages

Change preposition

show examples

both professional and personal aspects

such

Linking Words

as being unemployed or a decrease

Change preposition

show examples

well-being.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Sun Jun 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs to create a more balanced view.

task achievement

Refine the introduction to clearly indicate that you believe the disadvantages of taking risks outweigh the advantages.

coherence cohesion

Use varied sentence structures and transition words to further enhance the natural flow of the essay.

task achievement

The essay includes specific examples, like the colleague’s experience and middle school friend, to support the points discussed.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized, making the essay easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

358 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
creativity
significant
groundbreaking
broaden perspectives
enhance skill sets
fosters
resilience
adaptability
setbacks
strategies
excessive
ill-considered
consequences
financial losses
reputation
measured approach
assessing risks
informed decisions
mitigate
calculated
proactive
reactive
stagnation

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It is important to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their study. Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages.

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.

In some countries, many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.