IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the proportions of
people
Use synonyms
 in Yamen and Italy
differentitated
Correct your spelling
differentiated
 by 3 age groups in 2000 and 2050. Based on the chart, in 2000, Yamen's
population
Use synonyms
 mostly came from ages between 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 old
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50,1% of its
population
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it followed by
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
 of 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old and
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
 of age over 60. Meanwhile, in 2050 the
population
Use synonyms
 is predicted to
fill
Wrong verb form
be filled
show examples
 by
people
Use synonyms
 from 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 will
takes
Verb problem
make up
show examples
 about 57,3% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
, followed by teenagers group
then
Linking Words
 older
people
Use synonyms
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, in Italy in 2000, the
population
Use synonyms
 was mostly filled by
adults
Use synonyms
 (15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old) with
Correct article usage
a percentages
show examples
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 was 61,6%, the second place was older
people
Use synonyms
, and the third place was adolescents. In
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2050, the ranking will stay the same but with
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 in the percentages, where the
Use synonyms
adults'
Change noun form
adults
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 will be corrected to 46,2%, the teenagers will be 42,3%, and the older
people
Use synonyms
 will be 11,5%.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be concluded that in 2000, Yaman's
population
Use synonyms
 was dominated by teenagers,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Italy was dominated by
adults
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, in 2050, the
population
Use synonyms
 of those 2 countries will be dominated by
adults
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, population, years, adults with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Age structure
  • Dependency ratio
  • Life expectancy
  • Birth rate
  • Socioeconomic development
  • Projections
  • Developing country
  • Developed country
  • Youthful population
  • Aged population
  • Population aging
  • Pension systems
  • Healthcare services
  • Economic conditions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: