Write advantages and disadvantages of cell phones.

"In today's digital
life
,
cell
phones
have become crucial for everyone .
With the
Change preposition
The
show examples
ability to stay connected with others, access vast
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of information and has enhanced the flexibility of working
life
.
Cell
phones
have revolutionized the way we communicate, work and our social
life
.
However
, it has some benefits and drawbacks which are connected to our daily
life
.
Cell
Add an article
The cell
show examples
phone
offers numerous pros,
such
as improved connectivity with our loved ones from anywhere, at any time. It helps us
in learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
new things in the current situation and
also
makes our business
life
easy in banking,
paying
Correct word choice
and paying
show examples
bills through transactions
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
cell
phones
. It is easy to carry anywhere like a pocket computer which gives us a
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
update about the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
conditions at our place
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time .
Moreover
, it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some negative consequences
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
cell
phones
distract
Wrong verb form
distracts
show examples
the young generation from the right path which
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
the difficulties in their future and using
cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
for longer hours affects our mental health causing
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
, eye strain and other dangerous diseases .
Additionally
, excessive
cell
phone
use can lead to social isolation and decreased
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
communication which can It's important to use
cell
phones
in a responsible way. We need to be careful about how much time we
are spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
on
cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and make sure that we are not missing
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Using
cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
relaxe
Correct your spelling
relaxes
relax
relaxed
our
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
but excessive use can be harmful which will destroy our lives so, we need to be secure
while
using
cell
phones
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, yet they could be more explicitly defined. Consider crafting a more distinct opening statement and a stronger concluding remark to enhance clarity.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, but some points could flow better. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and ideas naturally progress from one to the next.
relevant specific examples
There are some points that lack specific examples. Try to provide more detailed examples to support your statements. For instance, you could mention specific apps that make banking easier or specific statistics on mental health issues caused by mobile phone overuse.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, but consider elaborating on them further. Providing more comprehensive explanations will strengthen your arguments.
complete response
The response to the task is complete, but aiming for greater detail and specificity in discussing both advantages and disadvantages would improve your essay.
complete response
You have covered both the advantages and disadvantages of cell phone use, providing a balanced view on the topic.
relevant specific examples
The essay addresses relevant issues such as connectivity, learning, mental health, and social isolation, which are pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: