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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #information #features #comparisons
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Both diagrams present the arranged floor of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same library for citizens in the
last
Linking Words
 two decades period, renovating at the present. 
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that there are several changes
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 relocating rooms, switching particular zones, and modernising amenities
nowsaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
.
During
Change preposition
Last
show examples
last
Linking Words
 20 years ago, It can be noticed that there were enjoyable blocks for childhood
such
Linking Words
 as CDs, videos, and computer games in the North-west and North-east
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
, which
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 rebuilt to be a place for storytelling events
as well as
Linking Words
 adolescents’ fiction
books
Use synonyms
, and renovated to be a lecture room in these days. Nowadays,
further
Linking Words
 development is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 alteration of
central
Add an article
the central
show examples
 zone, where
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
adapting of whole reference
books
Use synonyms
, adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 and self-service machines as there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no tables and chairs at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of a public library, compared to the given period.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 room and café
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 taken place from
reading
Add an article
the reading
show examples
 room and enquiry desk for returning
books
Use synonyms
 and tickets in the past.
Submitted by arunrak.wk on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • layout
  • modern technology
  • computer stations
  • multimedia room
  • multi-purpose spaces
  • conference rooms
  • study spaces
  • community-oriented services
  • accessibility
  • wider aisles
  • ramps
  • designated areas
  • people with disabilities
  • cafeteria
  • coffee shop
  • leisurely space
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