Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is said that many individuals spend a large amount of
time
using smartphones. The increase in the variety and accessibility of apps and online services has made smartphones incredibly appealing. Lack of public awareness and hectic schedule are the cause of
this
situation. In my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
negative effects of
this
habit outweigh the positives. First and foremost, these days social media platforms have grown to become key tools for communication, networking, entertainment, and self-expression. Most of the
people
use
these social gadgets to keep in touch with their friends and families.
Moreover
, in today's
time
, everyone has a hectic schedule so in order to minimise their stress level
people
choose to spend
time
playing games and watching their favourite shows over the phone as it provides immediate satisfaction and is considered an accessible mode of
time
pass.
Further
, I believe that excessive
use
of these social gadgets creates problems in our lives.
People
lose their self-expression to others as they
use
virtual communication systems all the
time
while
talking with their loved ones. Sometimes online contact is not enough like face-to-face talk.
People
are distracted too much by using these devices and they totally depend on technological inventions. They do not even think the life without social platforms.
People
waste their invaluable
time
watching all of these mechanisms. In conclusion, I believe that the excessive
use
of anything can
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
disastrous in anyone's life. No doubt with the help of
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
lots of
people
taking advantage like family members sitting abroad can talk to their loved ones easily within minutes. But we should keep in mind that limiting the
use
of these things is good for our personal relationships and good health.
Submitted by hazel@ on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, try organizing your thoughts into clearer paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. For instance, dedicate one paragraph to discussing the positive aspects and another to the negative aspects.
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Work on providing clear and specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
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Try to elaborate more on your individual points. Instead of briefly mentioning hectic schedules and stress, include more details or examples to illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your writing.
task achievement
Your essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing both reasons for increased smartphone usage and whether this is a positive or negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital addiction
  • instant gratification
  • multifunctional
  • connectivity
  • social networking
  • online services
  • self-expression
  • entertainment options
  • instant access
  • educational resources
  • communication tools
  • virtual interactions
  • distracted living
  • technological dependence
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