While many people believe that advertising brings significant benefits to society and the economy, others argue that it makes individuals dissatisfied with what they already possess. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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There is an ongoing debate regarding whether advertising brings more advantages or disadvantages to society. Some
people
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believe that advertising contributes significantly to social well-being and economic development,
while
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others argue that it makes individuals dissatisfied with what they already possess.
Therefore
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, before giving my own
opinion
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, I would like to discuss both perspectives. Examining the former
opinion
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, the primary argument supporters would put forward is that advertising brings considerable benefits to both society and the economy.
This
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is because advertising helps companies promote their products effectively, attract more customers, and increase sales revenue.
For example
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, online advertising on social media allows small businesses to reach a wider audience at a lower cost.
In addition
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, when businesses grow
due to
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successful advertising campaigns, they expand their operations and create more employment opportunities.
For instance
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, more workers are needed in production, marketing, delivery, and customer service sectors. Another reason is that advertising increases market competition, forcing companies to improve product quality and offer better prices for consumers.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter
opinion
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also
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have valid arguments.
To begin
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with, they claim that advertising creates unrealistic expectations.
This
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is because many advertisements present luxury lifestyles and perfect images, making
people
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compare themselves with others and feel inadequate.
For instance
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, young
people
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may feel unhappy because they cannot afford expensive branded products.
Moreover
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, advertising encourages unnecessary spending. Persuasive marketing strategies can make
people
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buy things they do not truly need, leading to financial stress.
Furthermore
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, the promotion of materialism through advertising may cause
people
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to focus too much on possessions rather than personal values or relationships. In my
opinion
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,
although
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advertising may lead to unnecessary consumption and dissatisfaction, its benefits to economic growth and business development are more significant. As long as advertising is properly regulated and does not mislead consumers, it can play an essential role in improving both the economy and
people
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’s quality of life.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your own view. To get a higher score, make your opinion stronger and show it more in the main body, not only in the last part.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear, but some points could be more fully developed. You can add one more small explanation about how ads help daily life, not only business.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant, but they are quite general. Try to use one more specific and real example to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear structure with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion. This is a strong point.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your linking words are used well, such as 'for example', 'in addition', and 'moreover'. To improve, do not use too many similar linkers in close parts.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph stays on one main idea, which is good. To get a higher score, make some topic sentences shorter and more direct.
task response
You answered all parts of the question and gave your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to follow and mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are clear and connected in a smooth way.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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