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Band 5.5

some people belive that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #belive #country #culture #import #movies #tv #programmes
A number of individuals say that the traditional culture will be more well-known when the
movies
 and
TV
 channels are opened globally,
whereas
 some people believe that it has a lot of benefits when produced locally. In my opinion, I do totally concur with the first statement because importing our films and
programmes
 brings a myriad of advantages for the country
such
 as profit or reputation. Producing entertaining activities like
movies
 and
TV
programmes
 for abroad nations will have immense incomes for the government and the producer.
In other words
,
a gigantic watchers
Correct the article-noun agreement
gigantic watchers
a gigantic watcher
show examples
 must spend the amount of money on entertainment to abuse the target of relaxation and excitement. Doreamon's film is an extreme example,
this
 film and
movies
 have attracted a number of children all over the world to watch them, until now it has earned a lot of money and fame from
this
 work. Another point I highlight is that producing for the local community will be better because it expresses respect for our country.
Consequently
,
theTelly
Correct your spelling
the telly
 channels have large knowledge
thatchildren
Correct your spelling
that children
 and adults can learn and gain.
Additionally
, these activities seem the second way to educate the students
instead
 of only the teachers can do it. In my opinion, I am really proud of my nation when foreign countries can
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 about our
movies
 and
TV
programmes
. The
reputations
Fix the agreement mistake
reputation
show examples
 of the country will increase remarkably and have some cooperation.
Furthermore
, the nations can bridge the gap and create opportunities in the commercial and the investigation.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
, producing
movies
 and
TV
programmes
 abroad or locally will not be too much important because the two ways bring a myriad of benefits to the communities.
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Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas to strengthen your arguments. This can make your task response more effective.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can improve your overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and set the stage for your essay nicely.
task achievement
Including relevant and specific examples, like Doreamon's film, helps illustrate your points effectively.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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