Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals opine that celebrities performing
pop
music
should be paid higher salary
in comparison to those majoring in classical Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
music
, while
others are not in consummate accord with the aforementioned idea. This
essay would
delve into discussing the two perspectives Wrong verb form
will
as well as
stating my support for the former one.
It is reasonable for classical music
performers to earn more money due to
their huge effort in mastering instruments and traditional
values that they preserve.
Chief among these is that those who pursue traditional Correct article usage
the traditional
music
has
spent a plethora of time and attempt to be adept at using instruments and the specific style of each category of classical Correct subject-verb agreement
have
music
. Obviously, traditional music
requires not only thorough
understanding of its nature but Add an article
a thorough
also
the talent as well as
constant practice to deliver the best piece of music
enjoyed by the public.
Concerning the second viewpoint, classical music
plays a paramount importance in preserving traditional
values of a country. It is true that the more money artists performing classical Correct article usage
the traditional
music
can earn, the more possible that they would not change jobs. As a result
, there are chances that future generations can still enjoy one of some masterpieces in music
field.
Add an article
the music
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that more financial means should be paid for
Change preposition
to
pop
celebrities due to
their short-term contribution and great attempt in maintaining
positive images. With regard to the former, the majority of Change preposition
to maintain
pop
stars have to face the challenge of a short-lived career since the entertainment industry is constantly changing. Consequently
, for
around one or two decades of contribution, most of those well-known artists would be replaced by other more Change preposition
after
talent
and dynamic ones.
Another point is that performers of Replace the word
talented
pop
music
always trying
to set good examples especially when presenting in public. Since Wrong verb form
try
they
aware of their significant impact on people, particularly teenagers, great effort in creating and maintaining favourable Add a verb
they are
they were
figure
has been made by these individuals. Fix the agreement mistake
figures
Therefore
, it is logical that stars performing pop
music
should earn more money.
In conclusion, although
artists of classical music
have to make great
attempt Add an article
a great
the great
in mastering
their skills and Change preposition
to master
retaining
traditional Wrong verb form
retain
value
, I suppose that Fix the agreement mistake
values
pop
performners
should be paid with higher salary Correct your spelling
performers
due to
their contribution in a short period of time and their responsibility maintain
positive images.Fix the infinitive
to maintain
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General Language Advice
Maintain consistency in using either British or American English to avoid confusing the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly ties back to the essay question, providing detailed explanations and examples for better clarity.
General Language Advice
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to ensure grammatical accuracy.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
Task Achievement
The ideas discussed are relevant to the prompt and show a balanced analysis of both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure of essay is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.