Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals opine that celebrities performing
pop
Use synonyms
music
should be paid higher Use synonyms
salary
in comparison to those majoring in classical Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
music
, Use synonyms
while
others are not in consummate accord with the aforementioned idea. Linking Words
This
essay Linking Words
would
delve into discussing the two perspectives Wrong verb form
will
as well as
stating my support for the former one.
It is reasonable for classical Linking Words
music
performers to earn more money Use synonyms
due to
their huge effort in mastering instruments and Linking Words
traditional
values that they preserve.
Chief among these is that those who pursue traditional Correct article usage
the traditional
music
Use synonyms
has
spent a plethora of time and attempt to be adept at using instruments and the specific style of each category of classical Correct subject-verb agreement
have
music
. Obviously, traditional Use synonyms
music
requires not only Use synonyms
thorough
understanding of its nature but Add an article
a thorough
also
the talent Linking Words
as well as
constant practice to deliver the best piece of Linking Words
music
enjoyed by the public.
Concerning the second viewpoint, classical Use synonyms
music
plays a paramount importance in preserving Use synonyms
traditional
values of a country. It is true that the more money artists performing classical Correct article usage
the traditional
music
can earn, the more possible that they would not change jobs. Use synonyms
As a result
, there are chances that future generations can still enjoy one of some masterpieces in Linking Words
Use synonyms
music
field.
Add an article
the music
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that more financial means should be paid Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
pop
celebrities Use synonyms
due to
their short-term contribution and great attempt Linking Words
in maintaining
positive images. With regard to the former, the majority of Change preposition
to maintain
pop
stars have to face the challenge of a short-lived career since the entertainment industry is constantly changing. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
for
around one or two decades of contribution, most of those well-known artists would be replaced by other more Change preposition
after
talent
and dynamic ones.
Another point is that performers of Replace the word
talented
pop
Use synonyms
music
always Use synonyms
trying
to set good examples especially when presenting in public. Since Wrong verb form
try
they
aware of their significant impact on people, particularly teenagers, great effort in creating and maintaining favourable Add a verb
they are
they were
figure
has been made by these individuals. Fix the agreement mistake
figures
Therefore
, it is logical that stars performing Linking Words
pop
Use synonyms
music
should earn more money.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
artists of classical Linking Words
music
have to make Use synonyms
great
attempt Add an article
a great
the great
in mastering
their skills and Change preposition
to master
retaining
traditional Wrong verb form
retain
value
, I suppose that Fix the agreement mistake
values
pop
Use synonyms
performners
should be paid with higher salary Correct your spelling
performers
due to
their contribution in a short period of time and their responsibility Linking Words
maintain
positive images.Fix the infinitive
to maintain
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General Language Advice
Maintain consistency in using either British or American English to avoid confusing the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly ties back to the essay question, providing detailed explanations and examples for better clarity.
General Language Advice
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage to ensure grammatical accuracy.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
Task Achievement
The ideas discussed are relevant to the prompt and show a balanced analysis of both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure of essay is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.