IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #country’s #culture #import #movies #tv #programmes
t is claimed that one of the best ways to develop a
country’s
culture
 is by importing foreign movies and TV
programmes
while
 others believe that it is better to create these locally. Both statements have their own effect on humans as exchanging and developing
culture
 through foreign programs and creating new
cultures
 by local ones. From my point of view, I lean more toward the former statement and will elucidate it in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, producing local
programmes
 is the way to create customer
cultures
 and
also
 to be advertised to other places.
This
 means that concentrating on inventing a
country’s
programmes
 shows the special beauty of arts, and
cultures
 to viewers which is the way to connect with foreign
watchers
. In recent years, Vietnam has focused on creating new movie projects which can be adapted by both local and foreign customers.
Therefore
, inventing local
programmes
 is really important but it can limit the cooperation of
cultures
.
On the other hand
,
watchers
 can adapt to various types of
programmes
 which provide unique
cultures
 from different countries, a connection and exchanging ideas between viewers will be increased. On account of discussions, a wide range of knowledge about movies and
programmes
 can be switched between viewers which changes their mindsets, and from that point, it will develop the
country’s
culture
.
For instance
, the film’s emigration from foreign countries shows a lot of special
culture
’s beauty to
watchers
 as food, fashionable clothes and landscapes that are learnt and developed by
watchers
.
Consequently
, foreign
programmes
 exchange
culture
 between countries and
also
 develop mindsets to be more modern. In conclusion, both foreign and local films have their own valuable
cultures
, exchanging and importing are good ways to gain more knowledge about
cultures
. Importing foreign has a wide range of accessibility
country’s
culture
.
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task response
While your introduction does a good job of outlining the topic, elaborating a bit more on the specific points you'll discuss would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the argument well. However, it could be stronger by more clearly restating your main points in a concise manner.
task response
Some examples and points could benefit from further elaboration. For example, details about Vietnam’s film projects could be expanded to show their international impact.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one to the next. Using transitional phrases can help improve the overall flow and make your argument easier to follow.
task response
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced essay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each point, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay provides a nuanced view, acknowledging the benefits of both local and foreign productions, demonstrating analytical thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • foreign films
  • TV series
  • exposure
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • stimulate creativity
  • inspire
  • local productions
  • cultural heritage
  • employment opportunities
  • contribute to the economy
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