obesity is now a major global epidemic . what can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?
Weight issues are becoming a crucial problem globally. The number of overweight
people
is getting higher day by day due to
a sedentary lifestyle and ubiquitous
number of fast Change the article
a ubiquitous
the ubiquitous
food
outlets. This
can be solved by taking some simple steps.
First and foremost , due to
new technology ,machines , which serve people
, and also
the careers people
have , individuals' lives have become far too sedentary. They mostly have desk jobs which renders them excessive weight. For instance
, many office workers, who have a normal 8 to 5 clerical work , do not leave their desks for even a single moment and most of their manual tasks are done by machinery.
Secondly
, There are numerous fast food
shops all around the town these days which are considered affordable and accessible for everyone. They temp
Correct your spelling
tempt
people
by the appealing smell they produce , the reasonable prices they offer ,and also
by the sophisticated advertisements. Take KFC as an example, which entices people
with the appetizing aroma they have in the stores and street banners you can see all around the city .
To tackle this
problem , government and individuals should follow some steps . People
can take up some outdoor or indoor activities such
as walking in parks or exercising in the gym . This
will compensate for the stationary lifestyle they might have . Moreover
, junk food
advertising must be tightly controlled by the government or fast food
companies can easily offer healthy alternatives .
To sum up
, weight issues which are caused by lack of activity and the vast number of venues all around the land ,
can be dealt with by doing physical activities , banning advertisements ,and producing healthy meals Remove the comma
apply
instead
of unhealthy ones.Submitted by TUTOO on
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vocabulary
Try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of saying 'desk jobs,' you could use 'sedentary occupations.'
grammar
Pay closer attention to grammar and punctuation to ensure your sentences are clear and correct. For example, 'The number of overweight people is getting higher day by day due to a sedentary lifestyle and ubiquitous number of fast food outlets.' could be rephrased to: 'The number of overweight people is increasing daily due to sedentary lifestyles and the ubiquitous presence of fast food outlets.'
coherence
Ensure you conclude each main point effectively before moving on to the next. This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. For example, add a concluding sentence to the paragraph discussing sedentary lifestyles.
introduction
You have provided a clear introduction to the topic, which effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
examples
Your essay includes relevant examples, such as KFC, which help to illustrate your points and make the argument more persuasive.
structure
Your overall structure is logical and the flow of ideas is coherent, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...