obesity is now a major global epidemic . what can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

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Weight issues are becoming a crucial problem globally. The number of overweight

people

Use synonyms

is getting higher day by day

due to

Linking Words

a sedentary lifestyle and

ubiquitous

Change the article

a ubiquitous

the ubiquitous

show examples

number of fast

food

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outlets.

This

Linking Words

can be solved by taking some simple steps. First and foremost ,

due to

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new technology ,machines , which serve

people

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, and

also

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the careers

people

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have , individuals' lives have become far too sedentary. They mostly have desk jobs which renders them excessive weight.

For instance

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, many office workers, who have a normal 8 to 5 clerical work , do not leave their desks for even a single moment and most of their manual tasks are done by machinery.

Secondly

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, There are numerous fast

food

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shops all around the town these days which are considered affordable and accessible for everyone. They

temp

Correct your spelling

tempt

show examples

people

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by the appealing smell they produce , the reasonable prices they offer ,and

also

Linking Words

by the sophisticated advertisements. Take KFC as an example, which entices

people

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with the appetizing aroma they have in the stores and street banners you can see all around the city . To tackle

this

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problem , government and individuals should follow some steps .

People

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can take up some outdoor or indoor activities

such

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as walking in parks or exercising in the gym .

This

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will compensate for the stationary lifestyle they might have .

Moreover

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, junk

food

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advertising must be tightly controlled by the government or fast

food

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companies can easily offer healthy alternatives .

To sum up

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, weight issues which are caused by lack of activity and the vast number of venues all around the land

Remove the comma

apply

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can be dealt with by doing physical activities , banning advertisements ,and producing healthy meals

instead

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of unhealthy ones.

TUTOOMon Jul 15 2024

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vocabulary

Try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of saying 'desk jobs,' you could use 'sedentary occupations.'

grammar

Pay closer attention to grammar and punctuation to ensure your sentences are clear and correct. For example, 'The number of overweight people is getting higher day by day due to a sedentary lifestyle and ubiquitous number of fast food outlets.' could be rephrased to: 'The number of overweight people is increasing daily due to sedentary lifestyles and the ubiquitous presence of fast food outlets.'

coherence

Ensure you conclude each main point effectively before moving on to the next. This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. For example, add a concluding sentence to the paragraph discussing sedentary lifestyles.

introduction

You have provided a clear introduction to the topic, which effectively sets the stage for the discussion.

examples

Your essay includes relevant examples, such as KFC, which help to illustrate your points and make the argument more persuasive.

structure

Your overall structure is logical and the flow of ideas is coherent, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
balanced diet
nutritional labeling
public recreational spaces
community sports programs
food advertising regulations
medical professionals
workplace wellness programs
mental health support
sugary drinks tax
consumer choices
affordable and accessible
health organizations

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obesity is now a major global epidemic . what can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Nowadays in many countries young people don’t communicate with older people as much as they used to. Why is this happening? How could this situation be improved?

Smartphone is beneficial or not beneficial for children

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the word. what are the causes of it? and what solution do you offer?

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There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?