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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #children`s #life #skills #time
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Nowadays,
children
 have been a trending topic among
parents
. some think that the best method for developing
children
's life
skills
 is engaging in an active pastime,
while
 others think
otherwise
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both opinions and in my opinion, moderately agree with engaging
children
 in an active pastime to develop their life
skills
. Some
parents
 think that spending time reading will develop their
children
's
skills
 because
children
 will have better language and communication, reading improves vocabulary, grammar, and
overall
 communication
skills
 it helps
children
 articulate their thoughts more clearly and effectively.
However
, they will have a lack in several things one of the main things is teamwork and cooperation participating in teams sports, or group activities teaches
children
 how to work with others.
In addition
, they will
also
 have a lack of physical health and fitness regular physical activity promotes
overall
 health and well being contributing to better concentration and academic performance. In summary,
this
 essay discusses why
parents
 think reading will develop
children
's life
skills
. From my perspective,
parents
 should see what their
children
 like more and what they need the most.
Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
You can improve the logical structure by ensuring a smooth flow between paragraphs and better connecting ideas.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your argument and to make your points clearer.
Supported Main Points
While your essay covers the main aspects of the topic, adding more detailed support for each point will help improve your score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your points effectively.
Task Achievement
You have provided arguments from both sides of the topic, showing a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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