In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.
In
this
day and age, teenagers leave their parents' homes in order to live independently in their own homes or share a home with their friends
. In this
essay, I will explain both sides: positive and negative and give my own idea.
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why teenagers find living in their own homes is an affirmative decision.One of them is living independently. As a mentally healthy individual, every child doesn't want to be a heavy weight to his or her parents. Another factor is that a human always strives to be independent in all fields, For instance
, there is not a human who doesn't want to spend a lifetime in a free country. Furthermore
, mankind is created like this
if there is good support from the economic or psychic side, you are going to enter the comfort zone and there will not be a virtue potential to grow in your career in an appropriate way.
On the other hand
, we can find enough cons about leaving relatives' residences in order to dwell on our own. Firstly
, it is not appropriate to get out from relatives who have been raised and brought up until now. In contrast
, young adults are to help their families inversely when they need it. Secondly
, young generations who are carried out by their grandparents feel more comfortable and pleasure than they inhabit without them. In addition
, the closest friends
in life are father and mother, such
friends
cannot be abandoned.
To sum up
, In numerous countries globally, young individuals choose to move out of their parent's house after completing their education. They begin living independently or sharing a residence with friends
. So I am firmly of the opinion that this
is a negative development, instead
of this
, I am in favour of young people living with their parents.Submitted by oyatilloalisherov159 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, presenting both positive and negative aspects of young people leaving their parents' homes. To improve, make sure to offer more relevant and specific examples to support your points, as this will enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs. For example, words like 'moreover,' 'in addition to,' and 'conversely' can help your essay read more fluidly.
supported main points
The main points in your essay are supported, but you could benefit from elaborating on them with more detailed explanations and specific examples. For instance, when discussing the negative impacts of leaving home, you could mention challenges like financial strain or loneliness, backed by real-life examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument comprehensively, addressing the positive and negative aspects as requested by the prompt. This shows a thorough understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example