Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world

Nowadays, a sedentary

lifestyle

is becoming more common among people in all parts of the world.

Although

this

type of

lifestyle

can help people feel more comfortable, these habits can have many different negative effects. First of all,

this

kind of behaviour can cause serious health

problems

in people’s organisms.

Furthermore

this

can lead to diseases like diabetes and other heart illnesses.

For instance

, research shows that in the United States, 85 per cent of the population has

problems

with heart disease and diabetes.

Moreover

, the percentage of stressful lives,

problems

with weight control, low immune response and

problems

with bone systems

also

increased rapidly, and after that, they wanted to change their diet and

lifestyle

as well. On the other side, to solve

this

problem, every person should do more and more outdoor activities. They must spend a minimum of 1 hour in gyms and other activities like running or just walking in public places. Nowadays, there are many different types of sports in the world that have different levels for every individual.

For example

, training in gyms can help them solve their

problems

with cardiovascular health improve their musculature system, and get rid of a sedentary

lifestyle

Also

, running and walking in the park can improve their immune systems. In conclusion, if people are addicted to a sedentary

lifestyle

, there are a lot of types of issues that could appear with their health, so I think that many types of sports are very important for everyone to be healthy, and they

also

shouldn’t forget about their bodies.

Moreover

, they should spend much more time outdoors and enjoy a happy

lifestyle

without

problems

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mentioning specific studies or statistics regarding sedentary lifestyles and health problems can make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your transitions between points smoother. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task effectively by discussing the problems and providing solutions.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
health problems
weight gain
obesity
energy levels
chronic illnesses
mental health
productivity
focus
social isolation
exercise
physical fitness
active lifestyle
health benefits
physical health
mental well-being
leisure activities
regular physical activity
physical exercise
cardiovascular health
strength training
flexibility
endurance

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