Some people believe that allowing childern to make their own choices on everyday matters (Such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuls who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for childern to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is thought by a selection of individuals that letting the younger generation
decides
what they want on everyday matters Correct subject-verb agreement
decide
leading
to allowing them to think about themselves, resulting in an isolated society. Wrong verb form
leads
However
, others believe that we should just let them make decisions
that are critical for their lives only. In this
essay, both viewpoints will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion which is I agree with the latter notion.
At the outset, there are several drawbacks allowing
children to make their own choices on every matter and one of the most significant is that it makes them become selfish. To elaborate Change preposition
to allowing
further
, they will not think about what will happen to other people in communities. Moreover
, it makes them do
not heed useful advice from others which might benefit them in the future. An apt illustration of Unnecessary verb
apply
this
is that my cousin is always spoilt for choices by my aunt and therefore
he seems to neglect about effects and consequences of his actions to
society. Change preposition
on
Besides
, he regularly makes decisions
by himself even if it is a bad or horrible one and does not listen to anyone.
On the other side of the coin, it is a fact that there are plenty of benefits from allowing them to make paramount decisions
sometimes and the most crucial one is that it helps them to grow up into productive individuals. To explain in greater detail, they need to face hard challenges and the aftermath of their decisions
; thus
adolescents have to find ways to deal with them by themselves. Furthermore
, it allows them to gain more experience and knowledge, becoming more thorough when making up their minds. To specifically demonstrate, my friend's parents always let my friend makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
decisions
that are important to him because they want him to encounter the consequences of his decision so that he can understand them and apply them effectively in the future when he needs to make these decisions
again.
All in all, it is clear that
parents should allow their offspring make
Fix the infinitive
to make
decisions
such
as what are the things that are uppermost for their lives in the future. Hence
, they will grow up and become cultured and experienced so that they can adapt and apply them to their lifestyle properly.Submitted by nnatthinee on
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Task Achievement
In your introduction, briefly mention the two viewpoints before asserting your own opinion. This will create a clear focus for your essay from the outset.
Task Achievement
Further develop the body paragraphs by providing additional supporting details or examples for each main point. This will enhance the depth of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link the body paragraphs more smoothly with appropriate transitional phrases. This will improve the overall flow of the essay and guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures to enhance readability and clarity.
Task Achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented, making your argument easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You have effectively used personal examples to support your arguments, adding a relatable touch to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a complete structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, presenting and contrasting both viewpoints before providing your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.