The tv and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous.Is this a positive or a negative development?

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The development of technology allows

people

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can access the internet and digital TV easily. It is argued that nowadays

people

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from ordinary backgrounds can be actors or actresses too.

This

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condition

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can have a negative impact on the young generation because there is a possibility they will leave school rather than take higher education to become

influencers

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However

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this

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condition

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can

also

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motivate the young generation to be agents of change by working in the creative industry. There are many young

influencers

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who do not have high education who become famous in

this

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era. The reasons why they can be famous are not because of their achievement but because they are funny and can entertain

people

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Furthermore

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, those

influencers

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that come from ordinary

people

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become rich instantly. Somehow,

this

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condition

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can give a negative motivation to other young generation, especially

people

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who want to be rich instantly.

For example

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, in Indonesia, many young

people

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decided to leave school to focus on their careers as content creators on social media platforms

such

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as Instagram and TikTok.

In addition

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, at the same time, the ease of becoming famous

people

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can

also

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motivate young

people

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, especially those who have a great achievement appear on social media to share their experiences when achieving success. In fact, these types of

influencers

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have a huge impact on other young

people

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who have the same dream.

For instance

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, there are many

influencers

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from Indonesia that motivate other

people

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to continue their master's degrees abroad. They always share their tips and tricks to become international students in top universities in the world. In conclusion, the ease of becoming famous has a negative and positive impact on society.

This

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condition

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can influence young

people

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to become bad

influencers

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and

also

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can motivate them to be good

influencers

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zahra.ghaisanisSat Jan 20 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on creating a more logical structure that guides the reader through the essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and the overall essay should have a clear progression from introduction to conclusion. It's also important to use transition words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas and strengthen the cohesion within the essay. Lastly, ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, with the conclusion providing a complete resolution to the points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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The tv and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous.Is this a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?

3. The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the socity they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is better to have more short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both of views and give your opinion.

Topic: Some people believe that it is good for a country to host a major sports competition. Others think it causes many problems for the country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government should provide housing, while others believe that it is not the government’s responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.