IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In developed countries, more and people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweightq its disadvantages on environment

#countries #people #cars #car #outweightq #environment
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Developed countries are witnessing an increase in the number of
people
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 buying and using
cars
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. Even though the use of
cars
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 is more beneficial, it has some negative effects
Cars
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 offer unparalleled flexibility and independence for travel. They allow
people
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 to go wherever they want, whenever they want, without relying on public transportation schedules or limitations. On top of that
cars
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 are essential for many jobs, allowing
people
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 to reach workplaces, deliver goods, and provide services. They facilitate economic growth and participation.
For instance
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: At my university some students have own
cars
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 that's why they have never late and come the lesson on time.
Additionally
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cars
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 enable
people
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 to visit friends and family participate in social events and other essential services, especially in rural or less developed areas where public transportation may be limited.
On the other hand
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cars
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 are a major source of greenhouse gas emissions, contributing significantly to air pollution and climate change. These emissions have detrimental effects on human health and the environment. Obviously increased car use leads to traffic congestion, wasting time, fuel, and resources. It
also
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 contributes to stress and frustration for drivers.
Besides
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this
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 effect to fuel industry and it make a lot of problem with may lead to increased queues at gas stations and higher fuel prices.
For example
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: In Uzbekistan using
cars
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 has increased dramatically
therefore
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 many flue station big queus and there were even various protests in 2023. In summary Using
cars
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 has many advantage side for comfort towards of human and meanwhile it has some disadvantages to the environment.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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vocabulary grammar
Aim to diversify vocabulary and sentence structure for more engaging and varied writing.
task achievement
Ensure all examples provided are clearly relevant and explained in relation to the main point.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow and stronger coherence.
introduction
The introduction provides a clear statement of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of car usage, providing relevant examples.
conclusion
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
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