Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members of society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At present, some
people
believe that
education
has helped
people
become useful to society, others say that
education
is aimed at achieving personal ambitions. in my point of view, I think to agree with 2 opinions
Firstly
,
education
helps
people
develop useful knowledge from society. In the learning environment,
in addition
to exercises, skills are
also
very important for
people
. Before stepping out into life,
people
will have to go through training processes from school, where everyone will study together and practice the necessary life skills to improve their self-worth.
Furthermore
,
education
helps
people
shape their future. when everyone studies, teachers will guide and advise on our advantages and disadvantages, thereby helping
people
determine their future goals
Besides
,
education
is the selfishness of personal gain. Many
people
want to study to achieve the results they want, but after graduating they become greedy and only want to create priorities for themselves and not have society.
For instance
, ms. Truong
my lan
Correct your spelling
My Lan
show examples
, after finishing her studies and holding a high position, took advantage of her identity to take a lot of money from the VietNam government.
In addition
, they put themself first to enjoy and earn more income.
For example
, many Olympic champions choose to live in a foreign country rather than in Vietnam to contribute to the country.
Overall
,
education
helps improve life skills and self-improvement but
education
is
also
the ambition of many
people
. In my opinion, I agree with 2 views.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both viewpoints and provides a precise thesis statement. This can help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more structured approach to your body paragraphs. Clearly separate the discussion of each viewpoint and use appropriate topic sentences to introduce each one.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are more relevant and directly support the points being made. The examples of Ms. Truong My Lan and Olympic champions require more detail and clarity on how they relate specifically to education and personal ambition.
coherence cohesion
Conclude by summarizing your key points more effectively. A strong conclusion reiterates your main arguments and provides a final perspective on the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of education in both societal and personal contexts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective progression
  • civic sense
  • self-improvement
  • fulfillment
  • democratic processes
  • career goals
  • ethics
  • personal development
  • societal contribution
  • educational systems
  • interdependence
  • economy
  • culture
  • individual success
  • well-being
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