Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Most companies ask for personal information

such

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as gender, hobbies, and marital status,

while

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applicants apply for jobs, some proponents believe that employers use it for official purposes,

while

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others disagree with

this

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notion.

This

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essay will shed light on the reasons with relevant examples in the following paragraphs. The first and foremost reason is choosing the right candidate. Collecting personal data about individuals lets the manager know about the applicants and helps him hire the appropriate person for the duties.

For example

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; a boss prefers to recruit only candidates in the interest of solving problems rather than reading books for the position of electronic engineering, which demands high thinking and issue-solving ability to perform. That's why, getting particular details about people is an effective method for organizations. On the other side, some unprofessional employers discriminate against employees based on their race, sex, and, marriage status, which is becoming a major problem for hired applicants. Not only do recruiters appoint them based on their gender

such

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as only males getting opportunities in the mechanical field, as they believe it is not suitable for females, but they

also

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prioritize unmarried candidates rather than married, ones because of their long-term work commitment.

However

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, the government can control

this

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trend by putting restrictions on prejudice.

To conclude

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, after analyzing both views, it is clearly stated that giving personal information is the best way to recruit, and

this

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should be acceptable to everyone,

however

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, the government should ban discrimination based on sex and race.

hkaur14165Tue Feb 18 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider clarifying your thesis statement in the introduction for a stronger guideline on what the essay will cover.

Task Achievement

Add more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and make your points clearer, particularly in the second paragraph regarding discrimination.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structure to improve the flow and make the essay more engaging.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are well-organized and smoothly connected between paragraphs to enhance logical flow.

Task Achievement

The essay presents both sides of the argument and reaches a clear conclusion, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

You have made an effort to include examples to support your points, which can enhance the reader's understanding of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

job application
personal information
hobbies and interests
marital status
relevant
useful
privacy
assessing candidates
qualifications
experience

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Every year more students to study online rather than attend classes on campus What you think the causes of this trends?What are the solution for that

Too much emphasis is placed on education. More government money should be spent on providing free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?