Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give you.

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The
Crime
Use synonyms
rate is increasing vastly worldwide
due to
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many
people
Use synonyms
are frightened to leave their homes because of afraid of offence. Some
people
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say that more preventive measures should be taken
while
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others feel that limited action is enough.
This
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essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, there are more actions should be taken for
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
of
crime
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.
This
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means the authorities should implement heavy punishment
to
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for
show examples
the culprits who threaten society.
For example
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, India has the strongest law against
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sexual
harrasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
offenders
such
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as the Pocso Act and the punishment is
life-long
Add an article
a life-long
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sentence. Non-bail punishment and
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
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also
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can reduce the
crime
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rate and
as a result
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,
people
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have to out
from
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of
show examples
their homes safely.
On the other hand
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, limited action is sufficient to
prevention of
Replace the word
prevent
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crime
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.
This
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is
news
Rephrase
why news
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channels have to minimise
of
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apply
show examples
exposing more
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crime
Replace the word
criminal
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content
what
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about what
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happens in
street
Correct article usage
the street
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. When humankind
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
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knowledge of offence
happens
Wrong verb form
happening
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surrounding them they like to out
from
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of
show examples
their home without any frightened.
For instance
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, news channels should focus on how
people
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suffer
under
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from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty and how to improve their livelihood
instead
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of showing more
crime
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scenes. Needless to say, limited preventive actions are adequate.
To conclude
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,
although
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imposing heavy
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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and non-bail sentences can minimise offence, news channels not
showing
Wrong verb form
show
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more
crime
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content to the population.
However
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, I strongly agree
with
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that
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more
Use synonyms
crime preventive
Add a hyphen
crime-preventive
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efforts should be made in order
to
Change preposition
for to
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individuals
can
Verb problem
get
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out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
their homes.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that each point made is clearly explained and supported with relevant and specific examples. The current essay provides some examples, but they could be more detailed and better connected to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, work on making the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs smoother. Use connecting words and phrases more effectively to ensure a seamless transition from one idea to the next.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
logical structure
There is a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, showing an understanding of different perspectives on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Deterrent: something that discourages or is intended to discourage someone from doing something.
  • - Vigilant: keeping careful watch for possible danger or difficulties.
  • - Surveillance: close observation, especially of a suspected spy or criminal.
  • - Community-oriented programs: initiatives that target specific issues within a community.
  • - High-crime areas: neighborhoods or regions where crime rates are significantly elevated.
  • - Social inequality: the existence of unequal opportunities and rewards for different social positions within a society.
  • - Law enforcement: government officials responsible for maintaining public order and enforcing laws.
  • - Cynicism: an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest; skepticism.
  • - Pessimism: a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.
  • - Bureaucratic hurdles: obstacles related to the procedures and regulations in bureaucracies that create inefficiencies.
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