Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources

Some individuals hold the view that innovative

artists

are supposed to be funded by

governments

while

others consider that those

creaters

Correct your spelling

creators

creatures

should be supported by other sources. In my opinion, I agree with the latter one. On the one hand, some people insist that

governments

giving financial support to

artists

can make them put more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

creating their

Correct word choice

own arts

show examples

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

, boosting more famous domestic

arts

, which is beneficial for the spread of their local culture.

For example

, some

artists

like Van Gogh had

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

earning enough money for

himself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

, resulting

that

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

him

show examples

needs

Wrong verb form

needing

show examples

to spend more

time

part-

Add an article

a part-time

show examples

time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

to survive.

Therefore

, there are only limited

arts

left by him and the culture behind the art is seldomly known by individuals at that

time

However

, if

governments

fund him, he would use most of the

time

to create more

arts

and the culture which is reflected

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

arts

would be prosperous immediately.

Consequently

, those people should be financially supported by

governments

On the other hand

, I agree with those people who argue that those pioneers are supposed to be funded in other ways.

First,

they should be provided more enlightening

create

Verb problem

apply

show examples

atmosphere

instead

of being given more money from the

governments

Fix the agreement mistake

government

show examples

. Establishing a more open environment for creators

encourges

Correct your spelling

encourages

artists

to make

innovation

Fix the agreement mistake

innovations

show examples

and

publize

Correct your spelling

publish

their

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

. To be specific,

arts

may contain information that

against

Add a missing verb

is against

show examples

the mainstream values during that

time

. Based on that,

those information

Change the determiner

that information

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

reveled

Correct your spelling

revealed

show examples

, they are prone to get into

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

and

those punishment

Change the determiner

that punishment

those punishments

show examples

can not be

dinimished

Correct your spelling

diminished

Correct your spelling

show examples

fine

Correct article usage

a fine

show examples

Second,

it is more important

for giving

Change preposition

to give

show examples

them more opportunities to present their

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

rather in public than being funded by

governments

. Many

artists

are fail

Change the verb form

fail

show examples

to be famous

due to

the fact that they have fewer chances to show

them

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

in front of audiences even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

are rich.

Subsequently

, they are less likely to meet their confidants,

thus

unable to

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

. In conclusion,

adimitly

Correct your spelling

obviously

, financial

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

beneficial for creative

artists

but I believe there are other measures

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

help them better.

Submitted by 1356388645 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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coherence and cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, the clarity of transitions between different points could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, with clear connectors to enhance readability.

supported main points

Some main points, such as providing more enlightening creative atmospheres, are not clearly supported with specific examples. Try to incorporate more focused and illustrative examples to back up your arguments.

clear comprehensive ideas

There were some grammar mistakes and awkward phrases, such as 'those creators should be supported by other sources.' Consider revising your sentence structures for greater clarity and grammatical accuracy.

introduction and conclusion present

The introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument, and the essay closes with a strong conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.

complete response

The essay attempts to provide a balanced view by discussing both perspectives, which is important for a complete response to the task.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of the lost item. Write a letter to the insurance manager. In your letter: describe the item you lost, explain how you lost it, tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle. We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You and your relatives ate a meal at restaurant to celebrate occasion, and you were very pleased with the food and service. • give a details of your visit to the restaurant • explain the reason for the celebration • say what was good about the food and the service

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?