Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals hold the view that innovative
artists
are supposed to be funded by governments
, while
others consider that those creaters
should be supported by other sources. In my opinion, I agree with the latter one.
On the one hand, some people insist that Correct your spelling
creators
creatures
governments
giving financial support to artists
can make them put more efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
on
creating their Change preposition
into
Correct word choice
own arts
arts
, boosting more famous domestic Fix the agreement mistake
art
arts
, which is beneficial for the spread of their local culture. For example
, some artists
like Van Gogh had troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
in
earning enough money for Change preposition
apply
himself
, resulting Correct pronoun usage
themselves
that
Change preposition
in
he
Correct pronoun usage
him
needs
to spend more Wrong verb form
needing
time
on part-
Add an article
a part-time
time
job
to survive. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Therefore
, there are only limited arts
left by him and the culture behind the art is seldomly known by individuals at that time
. However
, if governments
fund him, he would use most of the time
to create more arts
and the culture which is reflected from
the Change preposition
in
arts
would be prosperous immediately. Consequently
, those people should be financially supported by governments
.
On the other hand
, I agree with those people who argue that those pioneers are supposed to be funded in other ways. First,
they should be provided more enlightening create
atmosphere Verb problem
apply
instead
of being given more money from the governments
. Establishing a more open environment for creators Fix the agreement mistake
government
encourges
Correct your spelling
encourages
artists
to make innovation
and Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
publize
their Correct your spelling
publish
arts
. To be specific, Fix the agreement mistake
art
arts
may contain information that against
the mainstream values during that Add a missing verb
is against
time
. Based on that, those information
Change the determiner
that information
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
reveled
, they are prone to get into Correct your spelling
revealed
troubles
and Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
those punishment
can not be Change the determiner
that punishment
those punishments
dinimished
Correct your spelling
diminished
by
Correct your spelling
be
fine
. Correct article usage
a fine
Second,
it is more important for giving
them more opportunities to present their Change preposition
to give
arts
rather in public than being funded by Fix the agreement mistake
art
governments
. Many artists
are fail
to be famous Change the verb form
fail
due to
the fact that they have fewer chances to show them
in front of audiences even Correct pronoun usage
themselves
they
are rich. Correct word choice
if they
Subsequently
, they are less likely to meet their confidants, thus
unable to success
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
succeed
adimitly
, financial Correct your spelling
obviously
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
are
beneficial for creative Correct subject-verb agreement
is
artists
but I believe there are other measures can
help them better.Correct pronoun usage
that can
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coherence and cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, the clarity of transitions between different points could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, with clear connectors to enhance readability.
supported main points
Some main points, such as providing more enlightening creative atmospheres, are not clearly supported with specific examples. Try to incorporate more focused and illustrative examples to back up your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
There were some grammar mistakes and awkward phrases, such as 'those creators should be supported by other sources.' Consider revising your sentence structures for greater clarity and grammatical accuracy.
introduction and conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument, and the essay closes with a strong conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.
complete response
The essay attempts to provide a balanced view by discussing both perspectives, which is important for a complete response to the task.