Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Internet has become a
parts
Correct the article-noun agreement
part
show examples
and parcel of our life. We can not imagine a life without
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. By using
an
Change the article
a
show examples
website, people can get done their work from home.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, we
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping because of
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of services available
onilne
Correct your spelling
online
. I will pen down my
viewpointof
Correct your spelling
viewpoint of
viewpoint
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of technology.
Toady's
Correct your spelling
Today's
show examples
era is
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
show examples
era. The world has changed from
traditional
Correct article usage
a traditional
show examples
system to
artificial
Correct article usage
an artificial
show examples
intelligence system. There are numerous benefits of online services.
First,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
does not need to leave their place for shopping and has
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
to buy
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
item on
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
cart portal.
For instance
, people can purchase
desire
Wrong verb form
desired
show examples
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
at
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
show examples
cost by comparing
Correct pronoun usage
them on
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
different seller's
domain
Fix the agreement mistake
domains
show examples
.
Second,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time and money by using online services for
order
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
.
For example
, one does not need to pay for travel
charge
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
and can do shopping in a minute. Every coin has two sides. As
like
Change preposition
with
show examples
advantages,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
also
has disadvantages.
Firstly
, there are many
scammer
Change to a plural noun
scammers
show examples
available online who make fake
domain
Fix the agreement mistake
domains
show examples
and
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
fraud with the society.
For instance
, recently
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unknown company made
fake
Add an article
a fake
show examples
website and was
seeling
Correct your spelling
selling
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
at
cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
show examples
cost. They were getting money from the customers and
tell
Wrong verb form
telling
show examples
them to wait
untill
Correct your spelling
until
a month for shipping. They
did
Verb problem
committed
show examples
fraud for one month and
then
closed the
webite
Correct your spelling
website
.
Secondly
, online data are not protected,
hacker
Fix the agreement mistake
hackers
show examples
can reach your computer and
theif
Correct your spelling
thief
your bank's details.
Thirdly
, small vendors in the market will be unprivilged from the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
. I assert that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
online shopping is very crucial nowadays. Because of
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
the hectic
show examples
life, folks
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, buying groceries and
households item
Fix the agreement mistake
household items
show examples
are more
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
rather than demerits.
Submitted by ap064911 on

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overall
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary to reduce errors. For instance, 'parts' should be 'part', and 'an internet' should be 'the internet.'
task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic. For example, 'I believe the advantages of online shopping outweigh the disadvantages.'
coherence cohesion
Make the conclusion stronger and more aligned with the main points. Connect it back to the prompt and your stance.
task achievement
You have included relevant specific examples that support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with separate paragraphs tackling different points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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