Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.

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Internet has become a
parts
Correct the article-noun agreement
part
show examples
and parcel of our life. We can not imagine a life without
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. By using
an
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a
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website, people can get done their work from home.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, we
do
Verb problem
are
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not
require
Wrong verb form
required
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to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping because of
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of services available
onilne
Correct your spelling
online
. I will pen down my
viewpointof
Correct your spelling
viewpoint of
viewpoint
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of technology.
Toady's
Correct your spelling
Today's
show examples
era is
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
show examples
era. The world has changed from
traditional
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a traditional
show examples
system to
artificial
Correct article usage
an artificial
show examples
intelligence system. There are numerous benefits of online services.
First,
Linking Words
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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does not need to leave their place for shopping and has
a lots
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a lot
lots
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of
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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to buy
same
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the same
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item on
different
Correct article usage
a different
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cart portal.
For instance
Linking Words
, people can purchase
desire
Wrong verb form
desired
show examples
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
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at
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
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cost by comparing
Correct pronoun usage
them on
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on
Change preposition
to
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different seller's
domain
Fix the agreement mistake
domains
show examples
.
Second,
Linking Words
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time and money by using online services for
order
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orders
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, one does not need to pay for travel
charge
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
and can do shopping in a minute. Every coin has two sides. As
like
Change preposition
with
show examples
advantages,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
also
Linking Words
has disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are many
scammer
Change to a plural noun
scammers
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available online who make fake
domain
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domains
show examples
and
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
fraud with the society.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unknown company made
fake
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a fake
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website and was
seeling
Correct your spelling
selling
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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at
cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
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cost. They were getting money from the customers and
tell
Wrong verb form
telling
show examples
them to wait
untill
Correct your spelling
until
a month for shipping. They
did
Verb problem
committed
show examples
fraud for one month and
then
Linking Words
closed the
webite
Correct your spelling
website
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, online data are not protected,
hacker
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hackers
show examples
can reach your computer and
theif
Correct your spelling
thief
your bank's details.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, small vendors in the market will be unprivilged from the
earning
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earnings
show examples
. I assert that
,
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apply
show examples
online shopping is very crucial nowadays. Because of
hectic
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a hectic
the hectic
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life, folks
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, buying groceries and
households item
Fix the agreement mistake
household items
show examples
are more
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
rather than demerits.
Submitted by ap064911 on

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overall
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary to reduce errors. For instance, 'parts' should be 'part', and 'an internet' should be 'the internet.'
task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic. For example, 'I believe the advantages of online shopping outweigh the disadvantages.'
coherence cohesion
Make the conclusion stronger and more aligned with the main points. Connect it back to the prompt and your stance.
task achievement
You have included relevant specific examples that support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with separate paragraphs tackling different points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Convenience
  • Time-saving
  • Variety
  • Accessibility
  • Competitive pricing
  • Discounts
  • Cost-effective
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
  • Security risk
  • Data breach
  • Product quality
  • Consumer behavior
  • Physical inspection
  • Returns policy
What to do next:
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