IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Forests are the lungs of the Earth. Destruction of the world's forests amount to death of the world, we currently know. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#forests #lungs #earth #destruction #world #amount #death
Trees are the backbone of the earth. They need to be conserved because they play a vital role
of
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in
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 enhancing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rainfall
 and
they prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
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soil
 erosion.
This
 essay agrees that the overcultivation needs to be tamed at all
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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. First and foremost, forests and
rainfall
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
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 hand in hand. Without them, it means there will be no
rainfall
. The water from the rain is used for domestic purposes and helps in the growth of living things.
for instance
, a study conducted by agriculture experts in the UN on
Correct article usage
the effects
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effects
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the effects
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 of deforestation
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on
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to
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on
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 the environment in 1990, showed that where forests were not conserved, received low
rainfall
 falls making it hard for any crop to grow around that region. Despite the need for people to consume the
by products
Add a hyphen
by-products
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 of
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
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 like timber, there should be strict rules to govern the activity as it will have a negative impact on the weather.
Additionally
, the vegetation
prevent
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prevents
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 the
soil
 from eroding. The human activities of cultivating
down
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apply
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the greenyard will leave the
soil
 weak and unable to retain the plants.
This
 means that no tree will grow as there will be no nutrients.
For example
, experts from Cambridge University in May 2015 did
a
Correct article usage
apply
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research on how cutting down
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trees affected the weather. They concluded that,
due to
Correct article usage
the destructive
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destructive
Replace the word
destruction
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 of
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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 by human beings, it has resulted
to
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in
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 many plants failing to stay firm when planted as they lack nutrients to support them.
Therefore
, trees should be reserved if at all we need to prevent
soil
 erosion. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree that forests should be conserved
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to prevent global warming and
soil
 erosion.
Submitted by janenjeru6 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic of forest conservation well. However, it would benefit from a more balanced argument by stating opposing views and then refuting them if you disagree.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more varied connecting words and signposts to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on making the introduction and conclusion a bit more comprehensive. For example, restate the main ideas in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Address some minor grammatical and punctuation issues for a cleaner and more professional presentation.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear main idea and sticks to the topic of the importance of forests.
task achievement
You employed some good examples to support your arguments, like referencing studies and researches.
coherence cohesion
The body paragraphs address relevant points about rainfall and soil erosion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon sequestration
  • greenhouse gas
  • biodiversity
  • species extinction
  • deforestation
  • water cycle
  • watershed health
  • soil erosion
  • soil fertility
  • indigenous communities
  • ecosystem services
  • timber production
  • climate change feedback loop
  • extreme weather patterns
  • habitat destruction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: