It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

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These days, it is a common aim of many people leaving university to try to start up their own
company
. They believe that running a
business
has many advantages over working for someone else,
such
as the freedom to make your own
decisions
. I agree with
this
point of view, but it is important to bear in mind that running a
business
does not suit everybody. There are several benefits of setting up your own
business
. For me, the main one is that you have room to be creative.
Instead
of having to follow your employer's
decisions
, you can set the goals for the
business
yourself, which means that you feel more in control.
This
generally results in people feeling happier in their jobs. Not only that, you can
also
keep the profits if the
company
is successful. If all goes well, you will earn far more than if you work for someone else.
For instance
, if you set up your own graphic design
company
, and you build a good reputation, you will be able to make substantial profits. You will
therefore
be more motivated to work hard, in order to make a success of your
company
. Having said that, it is undeniable that running a
business
is risky. If there is an economic downturn, or you make mistakes in your
business
decisions
, your
company
can go bust, which can mean that you lose everything and you have to lay off your staff.
Moreover
, it is very hard to switch off at weekends, because the
business
is always in the back of your mind.
To sum up
,
although
there is no doubt there are some risks associated with running your own
business
, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, particularly with regard to making
decisions
.
However
, it should be said that not everyone is a risk-taker, and some prefer to work for someone else.
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Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, supported paragraphs, and a strong conclusion. However, you could improve your task response by including a few more relevant examples to strengthen your points.
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Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to follow. To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You might want to include a few more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
You provide balanced arguments and support them well. To achieve a higher score, aim to introduce more detailed and specific examples to emphasize your points.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, and you make your position very clear from the start and summarize it well at the end.
logical structure
Logical structure is evident with distinct, well-organized paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, supported by reasons and examples.
supported main points
The main points are supported well, and the essay remains highly relevant to the topic throughout.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aspiration
  • entrepreneur
  • flexibility
  • decision-making
  • financial rewards
  • personal fulfillment
  • challenges
  • financial risk
  • invested capital
  • cash flow
  • guaranteed income
  • work-life balance
  • responsibility
  • pressure
  • burnout
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